Thoughts on Believing God

Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.

Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, "So shall your offspring be." Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead-since he was about one hundred years old-and that Sarah's womb was also dead. Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.

This is why "it was credited to him as righteousness." The words "it was credited to him" were written not for him alone, but also for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification.

Romans 4:3, 18-25

I attend a ladies' Bible study at our local church here in Mexico and a few weeks ago, we had some planning sessions to map out goals and activities for the year 2010. One thing that we decided to do was to dedicate the first day of every month to prayer and fasting, each in our own way. Fasting isn't a discipline that I have regularly pursued, so I thought that this would interesting to see how this would work out for me as I participate with the other ladies in this way.

Wouldn't you know that I completely forgot about it yesterday?

Yeah.

But instead of waiting for next month to roll around and try again (besides, they might ask for reports at Bible study tomorrow, ack!), I decided to just work it into my day today (Yes, I know you aren't really supposed to let everyone know when you are fasting, but this all works into my thoughts on believing God...besides, I'm not going around all pitiful and hungry, looking for admiration or sympathy. Trust me, I am NOT holier than thou...).

Since this is designed to be an exercise for prayer and meaningful time spent with God, I wanted to choose some verses to meditate on for today. I was leafing through my Bible wondering what passage(s) to read when my Bible fell open to Romans 4. I have it marked because I'm supposed to read this chapter 20 times during Beth Moore's Believing God study that I doing this year (with my English Bible study group and yes, it gets confusing sometimes).

I think God led me to this chapter because He knows that this is what I need to think about today...specifically about what it looks like for me to believe God and live out my faith like Abraham did. Even though I have so much more revelation than Abraham did (the entire Word of God at my fingertips!), sometimes I think that Abraham had a distinct advantage because God talked to him out loud and in a very specific way (although I probably do Abraham a grave injustice because he lived a godly life without the benefit of any kind of written revelation from God!). Abraham knew that the promise was for him to have a child, a son. No question about that, it just didn't happen when and how he thought it would.

At times, I wish God would speak to me like that...but it seems like God's promises for me are kind of, well, harder to figure out sometimes. I mean, it's not like God says "I promise that you will get the money you need to pay for your visas" or "Yes, I promise you will have the funding you need for your ministry" or "You will be able to go inhabit the land of Venezuela." (Although I have to admit that God did speak to me very clearly that Miguel was the man I was to marry, but that's another story...)

I have questions sometimes...is this or that verse really for me? Am I taking things out of context? Am I hearing God right? Is this just wishful thinking or really something God has for me? What happens if I believe God for something and it doesn't happen the way I believed so strongly for? We hear a lot about people getting "a word from God"...nothing against that because I know that God does speak to people, but how do I really know that was God speaking to me and not just my imagination or wishful thinking?

I have heard some people say that just because we believe, for example, that a certain person will be healed and we pray that way, that it's already done...the miracle happens just because we pray with belief. But what about the times when people do pray for healing and they aren't healed? Case in point, II Corinthians 12:1-10. God can and does heal, but I don't think that I can presume that He will in every case.

I think that one of the keys might be in verse 21..."Abraham was fully persuaded that God had the power to do what he had promised." I wonder if 'praying with belief' isn't so much the belief that God will do it, but that He can. Praying with belief, then, would be praying with the full persuasion that God can do anything He wants to; that God has the power to do what I ask. Taking into account, of course, that God's plan might be different than mine and I submit myself to His ways. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

So I was thinking this morning, what are some of the specific promises God has given to me, personally?

Philippians 4:6-7 came to mind..."Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

God's promise is peace when I present my prayers and petitions to God with thanksgiving.

There are more promises, I know, lots more...Matthew 6:25-34 is another favorite of mine. I think it would be good to ask God to lead me to them, and ask Him how He plans to use them in my life. Side-note...I've noticed that when one grows up in a Bible-rich environment like I have, the Word can become so common as to lose its meaning sometimes. I know a lot of verses and passages, but I think it would be a good idea to ask God to make them fresh and new and relevant all over again.

One thing this Believing God study has done is to challenge some of my wrong beliefs about God. Wrong beliefs about God make it hard to believe Him and take His promises to heart, so it is good to see these things coming to the surface so I can address them. For one thing, I'm realizing that I continue to struggle to feel deserving of God's blessings and His grace (darn, thought I had taken care of that!).

I tend to view God's grace as conditional on whether I am behaving in ways deserving of that grace...and while it's true that God does sometimes take us through hard times to teach us valuable lessons, God is not petty or vindictive or skimpy on the grace. I need to focus on the fact that God's grace is something I don't deserve and cannot earn. It abounds and is even more abundant in the face of my weakness.

I saw this quote posted on a friend's Facebook status today..."God is too wise to be mistaken. God is too good to be unkind. So when you don't understand, when you can't see His plan, when you can't trace His hand, trust His heart."

I like that, to know that I can trust His heart.

Odds and Ends

1) Well, first up today is that I've been battling with a kidney infection for about what, a month now? Maybe not that long, just seems like it! The week after the Family Retreat, I noticed that I seemed to be extra tired and sure enough, that Wednesday I realized I had a kidney infection. It hit me pretty hard because most likely, I'd been dealing with it for a few days and didn't realize it (the usual m.o. is that I don't exhibit many symptoms of bladder infections, so don't catch them very quickly). I first tried to take care of it by drinking lots of water, cranberry juice and pills, etc. but by the weekend began a treatment of antibiotics.

I didn't get better very quickly, though, and a week later had to switch to a stronger antibiotic. I have had some good days in there, but mostly it's just taking a LONG time to get over this thing. It's been discouraging as I've been barely keeping up with the house and the kids, much less things like writing on my blog! I had a good day yesterday, but am not feeling so good today, so I guess I am just going to have to take it easy and keep on top of it to avoid a relapse...

2) As well as the kidney infection, I am also experiencing horrible, horrible allergies!!!! And I don't usually even have allergies here in this drier climate! But it's rainy season, the flora and fauna are thriving and something is driving me nuts...and I'm so glad you can't see me with toilet paper stuck up both nostrils in an attempt to stem the flow...Miguel did and he laughed. Hmph, wish HE would get allergies once in a while...

3) I am so excited to be doing two different Bible studies this fall...on Wednesday mornings I go to the ladies' Bible study at our church (Spanish). This last month, the group invited a special speaker to give a workshop on the inductive Bible study method. He works with Kay Arthur's Precept Ministries International, so he provided us with a couple of books that we will be using in the weeks to come...first we're planning to go through the six lessons in Living a Life of True Worship and then begin Lord, I Want to Know You, which is a study of the names of God. I am looking forward to it!

**Side-note: During the workshop, we studied the book of Philemon and at the end, he challenged us to take Psalm 119 and study it using the inductive method...answering questions such as "What synonyms does the author use for the Word of God?" and "How does the author feel about the Word of God?" I've been doing that here at home in the last few days and it's a thought-provoking way to study the Word. For more information about Precepts Ministries, go here.**

Second Bible study will be with fellow missionary ladies (English). We will be doing another Beth Moore study, Believing God. I have the book in hand and can't wait to start! God has challenged and encouraged me tremendously through each Beth Moore study that I have done and I know this one will be no different!

4) Miguel and I continue to talk and pray through various aspects of our ministry... and it continues to be hard to do that! It's been interesting to note that while I generally tend to view conflict as strictly a negative thing, I'm learning that conflict can also bring growth and unity...if that makes any sense...it seems a bit backwards, but as we have made the effort to work through some of our differences of opinions and stuff, we've seen some progress in various areas even though at times it seems like we haven't really gotten anywhere. For which I PRAISE my God!

Future ministry options are still high on our list of things to discuss and while there may be a few changes in what Miguel's ministry looks like here in Mexico, we still do not have much leading as to beyond the next year or so. One of my favorite verses continues to come to mind whenever this weighs heavy on my mind...

Trust in the LORD

with all your heart,

and lean not

on your own understanding;

In all your ways

acknowlege Him,

and He will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV

So while I wouldn't say that we're discouraged, per se, we continue to wonder where God is leading and when we'll know what our next step is. In the meantime, we keep plugging away, doing what we can to serve where we are...

5) Jkaile is resisting all efforts at potty-training! Funny (well, not so funny, maybe) how one little kid's refusal to 'go' in the potty can cause so much tension! Definitely a power struggle there! Sigh...we'll just keep working on it! Potty-training is my least favorite stage of babyhood, I think...it does help to know that he will most likely be potty-trained by the time he goes to college...

Home from church...again...

I am home from church again today...seems like church attendance is pretty hit or miss these days! With the six of us, seems like one or the other kid (or parent...okay, usually me) just needs to stay at home. Today it's Jkaile...he has a terribly nasty cold with watery eyes and green, gunky nose (and face, and shirt, and hair...you get the picture). I am confident that they don't want THAT in the nursery! And there's no way that I will be holding that little bundle of joy for 3 hours of Sunday school/church!!! And we'd have to hold him because he loves to RUN...one time I put him down inside the church building and he made a beeline for the front door (two rooms away!) and was nearly out in the parking lot before I caught up to him...church was full of people standing around and he had the advantage of fitting between everyone's legs...I had to politely manouver my way through.

Last week everyone was healthy and we made a huge effort to get ready. Baths for the three youngest (one at a time in the plastic tub in the shower), showers for the rest of us, fix hair, clothes, pack snacks, books, toys, Bibles, diaper bags, extra clothes in case of accidents. We were just walking out the door when a friend called to say that the church service was canceled because the construction workers fixing the street outside the church building had broken a gas line. Argh! All that work...

Anyway, I decided to read and study on the book of Philippians while I'm home today. One of my favorite ways to read/study the Bible is to print out a portion of Scripture from Biblegateway. Today I printed out the entire book of Philippians in the New Living Translation. That way, I can underline, scribble notes, or highlight to my heart's content! I do that a little in my regular Bible anyway, but I think I feel more free to do it when it's on a printout. And reading a familiar passage like Philippians (one of my most favorite books!) in a different version helps me focus more on the message and meaning of the words instead of it being so "rote".

This is my first foray into the New Living Translation...so far, I like it! I grew up using the King James and now usually read the NIV, so it's interesting to try something different. Okay, I'm off to do some horizontal worshipping. :)