Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, "So shall your offspring be." Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead-since he was about a hundred years old-and that Sarah's womb was also dead.
Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. This is why it was credited to him as righteousness. Romans 4:18-22
I've always thought that I'd love to have that kind of faith and unwavering trust in God. I realized this morning that maybe I have...at least a tiny bit of it anyway. And while I am not sure that I would presume to think that my faith quite measures up to Abraham's, maybe it doesn't need to. Jesus said that faith the size of a mustard seed is enough to move mountains...so maybe my baby steps towards an Abraham-sized faith is right where God wants me for now.
I wrote a few weeks ago about our ministry and the upheaval we're going through this summer....there's still so much uncertainty in our situation. At this point, it does appear that we are packing and preparing to leave Mexico to take our
So much uncertainty and yet here I am, former uptight, I-need-to-know-NOW, controlling, worry wart of a woman exhibiting a simple, child-like trust in God that goes way way beyond anything I ever dreamed possible for myself! Not that I didn't want it, just that I didn't know how to get it. I am astonished at and ever so grateful for the changes that God has worked in me to bring me to this place of trust (because that's the only way to 'get it' anyway, I had to give up and let God do the work). For example, if we really might be led to stay in Mexico, then maybe it's not such a good idea to be selling or gifting our things, right? And yet I have complete assurance that if God moves us to stay, then He will replace the things we need when we need them and worrying about that is not something that I need to clutter up my life with right now.** There are more important things to focus on, like being cheerful and meeting my kids' needs today.
I don't know that I am actually quite sure about going to Venezuela under the present circumstances and yet I have complete peace in honoring Miguel's ministry decisions because I know that God and His Plan is in control here (Proverbs 19:21). It might sound contradictory, but I see it as choosing to step aside and let God be the one to reveal that plan as He sees fit through my husband and trust that God will work to change what is not for the best for our family (Proverbs 3:5-6). I don't have to try to convince Miguel of anything...just pray and trust and calmly share my thoughts when asked or as God leads. I couldn't do that before because I was too worried that my dear husband might make a mistake that I would have to 'suffer' for (quite humbling for me to have to admit, but yeah, that's how it was).
So this is a time when it is so obvious that God is working to change and grow us because we're ready for Him to work...it's also a time when God is using us to speak truth to others regarding some situations that we find ourselves in right now. Yes, we're struggling in some areas, haven't done everything perfectly, and yet these things are the very tools that God is using to shape, grow and mature us. It's an exciting place to be, even though the learning and growing process has been painful as we're stretched farther than we think we can go.
But this trust, this simple faith, this peace (Philippians 4:6-7) is amazing. I think I want more.
*The current plan is to land in Northwest Arkansas mid-August, find a place to stay and for Miguel to work for a time as we pray and think through our options while working through the decision-making process with our home church there...
**I used to think that this sort of faith was a fluffy, too-spiritual-to-be-real sort of thing...like people who said that were just in some sort of denial or something and that sooner or later they would 'come to their senses' and realize that real life is quite different...and while I don't want to go to the extreme of being naive or unwise, what I am experiencing is something totally different and more real and healthy than my former anxious state of mind...