uninspired

I'm not feeling particularly inspired today. There are so many things that I've thought about to write, but haven't had much time to sit and get them down! But I have a good excuse...I am recovering from pnuemonia! Like I wrote last time, different ones of us have been sick off and on and the week after my Grandad's funeral (subject of another post), all of us except Miguel got the "bronchitis flu". It was terrible. The first symptom I noticed was fatigue, on Monday I was really dragging myself around and wondering what was wrong with me. I seemed to have a tickle in my throat that wouldn't go away. Then I had fever and chills Monday night that Ibuprofen quickly took care of. The next morning was Bible study, so I took some more Ibuprofen and off we went. I didn't know how sick I was going to be or else I wouldn't have gone. Later that day, the fever and chills came back with a vengeance and I knew I was going to be very sick. That day Gracia and Jojo started running fevers, too, so the three of us were out for the count.

On Wednesday afternoon, my fever got up to 104.3 under my arm and all I wanted was my Mom...I guess we all revert to childhood when we're sick! But at the same time, I didn't want her to get sick either, so there I was. The fever finally went down and on Thursday I was actually feeling better and was up for a while in the afternoon. But Friday morning I felt worse and I decided that I needed to see a doctor since I felt like I had severe bronchitis if not pnuemonia and didn't want to end up in the ER over the weekend. By the time I got in to see the doctor (a very LONG wait!), my fever was up to 102.2 and I must have looked pretty bad. And sure enough, the dr. could hear the tell-tale sounds of pnuemonia starting in the bottom of my right lung. I generally hate to go to the doctor, but this is one time that I'm thankful that I went. I got my prescriptions (we're still recovering from the price!!!) and I am very grateful to be well on my way to full recovery. I am also thankful that the kids did not get nearly as sick as I did and Miguel was able to avoid it as well (although he had some sort of strange stomach thing).

While I am getting much better, I am still very tired and have found myself battling irritability and impatience with the kids. They are so full of energy and we've all been stuck inside since the weather has been so cold. And I have not really had the emotional or physical energy to keep them busy and entertained, which means that I've gotten myself in trouble a few times as things have gotten out of hand. As in when their energy lacks direction, fights and squabbles ensue and I am pushed to my limits of what I can handle. :(

In the middle of all this, Baby Jkaile is crawling! And getting into everything! I'm so proud of his accomplishments, he's pretty young to be crawling, but I don't think I'm ready for this stage of life! He's already demolished a few magazines and sucked on my new book's cover, sigh. Fortunately, Micah is a great help at dragging him away from things he shouldn't be touching, but it's an extra thing to think about. Thank goodness for playpens!

Okay, well, I think the baby is ready for a nap and I'm ready for him to have his nap. :) So chao for now.

Gross!

Jojo is sick again. He's been sick six different times in the last two months, each time with fever and vomiting. We've all been sick more than usual this winter, so we're probably just reacting to and U.S. winter rather than being in the tropics. And maybe Jojo is affected more than the rest of us since he was only four months old when we went to Venezuela and it's all he's ever known. Anyway, we didn't really know he was getting sick until he threw up day before yesterday while he was sitting on Miguel's lap in the living room. As I'm rushing around looking for a "throw-up bowl" (they are now stashed in various places around the house since we've been using them so much), poor Miguel is having to catch the throw-up in his hands to prevent carpet distress. By the time I got over there with the bowl, things were rather a mess, to say the least. I'm constantly amazed by Miguel's ability to handle episodes of poopy and throw-up disasters without gagging. I used to have more of an "iron stomach", but ever since Jojo was born more than three years ago, I have not been able to tolerate things like that without nearly throwing up myself! Miguel is my hero every time he cleans up after the kids.

Jojo did not throw up again all that night and we had high hopes for his recovery, but alas, he had a relapse yesterday. For some reason, he'd gotten off the couch and away from his throw-up bowl. He was half-way up the stairs when he threw up and unfortunately, I was directly beneath him and some of it landed in my hair!!! To quote AFV, it was a true "Moment of Ewwwww!" when I realized what had happened!! Oh, it was so gross! Since nobody else was available to help (Micah disappears at the first sign of vomiting since he's even more squeamish than I am!), I had to stand there catching everything in the bowl until Miguel could arrive. Oh well, I needed to wash my hair anyway.

Now that we are adjusting to having four kids, it does seem as if one or the other of them are sick at any one point in time! And both Miguel and I are down with colds too, which really complicates things....if any of the kids need something, there we are arguing about who feels the worst or who's turn it is to change the poopy! LOL! Not really, Miguel has been a true servant and has done more than his fair share lately! He is so good with the kids and such a good Papi.

As Miguel and I consider our future ministry options, sometimes it seems overwhelming to think about being back on the mission field and this time with the four kids instead of three! I know it will be really hard and I'm kind of scared, but I feel God drawing me back to ministry. I sense God gently challenging me to trust. Can I trust Him to provide the strength, stamina, wisdom, patience, and everything else I need to make it? I've already found out that I can't do it in my own strength! Where else is there to go but God?! Psalm 73:25-26 NIV Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.