Breaking the Fear Dance--"WE"
Teamwork--Power struggles are the single greatest ploy to cause trouble in a marriage. The problem is that power struggles involve becoming divided against your teammate (your spouse).
Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them, "Every kingdom
divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household
divided against itself will not stand".
When on a team, you either win as a team or lose as a team. So as teammates, married partners either win or lose in any given situation. There is no such thing as a win/lose outcome in a marriage.
Adopt a "No Losers" Policy! Either both partners win or no one wins--it becomes completely unacceptable for either partner to walk away ever feeling as though they have lost. Both recognize that if either loses, the whole team loses. It still may happen...but it's not okay!
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility
consider others better than yourselves.
Each of you should look not only to your own interests,
but also to the interests of others.
Seven Steps to a "No Losers" Policy
1. Establish a "No Losers" Policy...it relaxes everyone!
Approach making decisions as a team.
2. Take time to find/understand what the "win" is for each person.
This is the hardest step, but the majority of issues will be resolved right here.
Redefine "winning" to mean finding a solution that both feel good about (also works with children!)
3. Pause, pray, and seek God's will.
4. From a place of unity, brainstorm possible win/win solutions.
5. Select a course of action that both of you feel good about.
Many times a 'compromise' is actually a loss for someone.
6. Implement it.
7. Evaluate and rework if necessary.
If someone isn't feeling good about something, usually it's that they've uncovered something that bothers them...so, rework from step #2