Holley says..."I find we do the same with situations in our lives. God's stirring up something and we come swooping in with a spoon. We get a taste and panic. What is going on here? How is it going to turn out? This doesn't seem right at all!"
I think that I've been the one taste-testing the batter that is the ministry that God is mixing up for us...on one level, I do have a deep, abiding trust that God has brought us here and that God is leading...but on another level, sometimes it just doesn't 'seem right'.
I am learning that ministry, just like cooking, is a process...that even when I'm in the place that God has designed for me, sometimes it might not 'seem right'. There will be struggles, disappointments and maybe even failures. I guess I thought that things might be easier if we were in our 'dream' ministry and I forget that Jesus said that in this world I would have trouble and there really is no need to panic when trouble comes.
Since we've been in Puebla, we've had some trouble...we've faced doubts and fears, wondering how this will all turn out and sometimes even if we're in the right place...some of our expectations haven't been met, some relationships we'd hoped to cultivate haven't developed and some doors we thought were open have been closed. Sometimes it's been messy.
I get impatient, wanting to see the end result now...I've wanted to take things in my own hands and fix them. I forget that just like baking, ministry can take time to go through the process to make something beautiful and delicious and whole. You can't really rush through a recipe that calls for chilling the dough or simmering for an hour. I forget that it's not done yet...that I'm not done yet...that it's not even my job to make sure that everything turns out right.
So we've moved forward by faith, trusting that God is working and knowing that we'll likely live in a bit of mystery until the end result is revealed somewhere down the line. We just take it one step at a time, trusting that God will reveal each step as we need to take it.
And that's what it's all about anyway, trust...trusting that God is adding the right ingredients at the right time in order to make something out of it that honors and glorifies Him. Even if we don't get to taste it until we see Him face to face...