Monday, July 28, 2008

Micah's glasses

As it turns out, Micah needs glasses, too! I was really hoping that he wouldn't but oh well...Miguel and Micah picked out some pretty cool sport goggle type glasses (not what I would have chosen for him, but probably good for active boys!).

Getting motivated

It's 10:30 a.m. and I find myself avoiding everything that I SHOULD be doing and hanging out at the computer...guess I'm having trouble getting motivated! For one thing, I have a headache, which is my own fault for eating pizza and breadsticks on Saturday (I am allergic to yeast and cheese, but pizza is VERY hard to resist!). Both Miguel and I were very tired last night to begin with and then Micah threw up around hero Miguel cleaned it all up and we were just getting settled back into bed when I heard the unmistakable sounds of diaper-filling from Jkaile's bed. sigh. I waited a little while until I thought he was finished, got up and changed his diaper and took him back to bed to nurse. I got him back to bed around 1 a.m. and was just nodding off again when I heard some more diaper sounds! double sigh. So I got him back up, changed his diaper and decided to put him back to bed without the nursing, since that might stimulate more diaper filling (it's a vicious cycle!)...and yep, there he went AGAIN!!! triple sigh. One more diaper change and then back to bed, much to his great displeasure...but he did eventually get back to sleep.

I had a hard time going to sleep at that point and I noticed Miguel doing his share of tossing and turning, too! Both of us were thinking about Miguel's appointment with INS (now USCIS) this morning to try to straighten out a complication on his application for naturalization...long story, but we've had a lot of snags and long waits, so we really don't want to mess anything up with that! I will post an update on that when Miguel gets home...I am really on pins and needles waiting for him to get home to find out what happened!!!! Anyway, I remember Miguel putting Jkaile in bed with me around 6 a.m. before he left and then the next thing I knew, it was 9 a.m.!!! Guess both of us were tired! :)

I am feeling very much overwhelmed with the giant list facing me and am much in need of a plan...I think I need to implement the 15 minute work plan that Flylady recommends. Set the timer for 15 minutes and work on just ONE thing until the timer goes off and then take a 5 minute break. If you do three 15 minute work sessions, you can focus better and get a lot done in just one hour. I can't handle everything I have to do this week right now, but I can handle 15 minutes of work at a time. :) Especially with a 5 minute coffee-break in there! Ha!

Sunday, July 20, 2008


I am at my sister's Elizabeth's house in Springfield, MO for a quick overnight visit...this will be the last visit before we leave for Mexico and we wanted to get the kids together one last time. We celebrated Jacob's birthday yesterday with a water balloon took Liz and I 2 hours to fill all those balloons with water and the kids about 2 minutes to destroy every single one! :) But they had a great time, so it was worth it. I am having a pretty good time except that I felt very sick yesterday; I even threw up once before I left (could I possibly be preg..don't even want to SAY that word!!). And then Jojo started having a headache and fever...probably from the vaccines he got this week, so that's been stressful.

Anyway, I noticed that Liz has four boxes of family photos here, so I started looking through them with the kids, showing them pictures from when I was little. That was fun and sure did bring back a ton of memories...and the kids enjoyed guessing which little blondie was Mommy...yes, I started life out as a blonde! :) I showed them pictures of the Macu people and how we lived at the Lake...and then I spotted the section named "Emily". I didn't really want to pull those pictures out, but I did. I knew it would be emotional...and it was. Let me tell you about Emily.

Emily was a little Macu girl, about 16 months old that we took care of for a few months one summer while I was home. Emily wasn't her real name, of course, that's just what we called her since it was a lot easier to remember! She may not have even had a name yet...I really can't remember. Anyway, she and her older sister were orphans and lived with an aunt and uncle. But orphans are pretty low priorities for Macu families since it's such a struggle to feed their own children and Emily had gotten pretty sick and thin. The family clan had been at the mission base for a while and my parents suspected that they might abandon her when they left. A few hours after we knew the family had gone, my sister Liz and I went down to the empty camp to check and sure enough, there was Emily sitting there all by herself in the dirt. When she saw me, she started to cry and lifted her arms for me to pick her up. I think my heart broke at that point and I already knew that I loved her. I took her home and I fed her and gave her a much needed bath. Since it was a very busy time for my parents, I took care of her during the day and slept with her at night so that my Mom wouldn't get so tired. Emily was a very serious little girl those first few days, especially when it came to food...for two or three weeks, she wasn't content unless she had a cracker clutched in both hands.

As we fattened her up a bit and she knew food was no longer an issue, she really blossomed. She began to play and even to smile. Emily turned into one of the sweetest babies I had ever seen! Her smile was beautiful and her laugh contagious. It was hard not to love her (even when she pooped and peed on the floor 17 times one day!!!).

Then it came time for me to fly back out to the mission school. If I had had the choice, I think I would have tried to find a way to keep Emily, but it just wasn't possible. She cried when I left and my heart broke all over again. I think I tried not to think about her to avoid the pain. My Mom told me later that when her family came back and saw her in such good health, they wanted her back. And that once again Emily became weak and then sick and that she later died.

I really hate the ending to this story! I wish it could have been different. Emily has a very special place in my heart and I find myself thinking of her often, especially when I come across pictures of giving Emily a bath, Emily and I swinging in the hammock, Liz and Emily giggling together...Emily gave me my first taste of what having my own children would be like...the powerful love and emotional connection...and the pain that comes with losing someone I love. Sometimes I wonder if I will see her again, romping in Heaven. I truly hope so!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

a visit to the eye-doctor

Isn't that just the sweetest thing you ever saw?! That's my girl! :) We had a family visit to the eye doctor yesterday...well, we forgot and let Micah go on a sleepover so he wasn't there, but we'll get his eyes checked next week...anyway, it turns out that Gracia needs glasses! She has inherited my astigmatism...sigh. But she thinks it's wonderful to wear glasses and had a blast trying on different pairs! We finally settled on this little purple pair, they are very cute, but I'm wondering how long it will be before the excitement wears off....

Jojo's eyes are fine, but he thought he should get some glasses, too! So he ran over and tried on this pair, that actually don't look that bad! haha...drama king there...

And this is an extra...since we're on the topic of glasses...this is Jkaile with my glasses on. I love that cheeky look on his face! He looks so proud of himself about something! :)

Things are coming together...

My feelings about being 3 weeks away from heading back to the mission field...Wow! Anxiety! Excitement! Apprehension! Anticipation! AAAACCCCKKKK!


Can you tell I have mixed emotions?! On the one hand, I'm very excited about a new ministry, a new place to live, seeing all of our friends in Mexico again, getting back into full-time missions...on the other, I crave a more simple, stress-free life, I will miss all of my friends here (and I know my kids will miss their friends, too!), I know that there will be plenty of challenges, busyness being one of I ready for all of this?! I am so glad that my sister Chrissy called from Ecuador yesterday (that was a God thing, for sure!) because she was able to impart great wisdom to me (they've been through 2 major ministry shifts recently!). She said that changing to a different field of service can bring up a lot of different emotions, a lot of them negative. She reminded me, however, that feelings are subjective and not necessarily the truth of the situation, so it's good to consciously focus on the positive, the good things and the truth. And this will help the kids transition better as well.

And this will be a huge transition for our family, mostly the fact that Micah and Gracia will be in school and not be homeschooled...we are not used to getting up early and going somewhere every day! I'm sure, though, that once we get into the swing of things, there will be much to appreciate...such as mornings with only 2 kids, being able to give more attention to Jojo and Jkaile, not having the extra work of homeschooling, structure for our family...lots of positives! :)

I sorted through all the kids' clothes today, weeding out the extras, packing their school and winter clothes. I feel like I have accomplished something! I have such a long list of things to do that it's overwhelming and it feels really good to get that done. Maybe that will motivate me to keep chipping away at the list little by little...I really hate that feeling of having so many things to do hovering over my head!

But in general, things are really starting to come together...not only do we have a house waiting for us when we get to Mexico, but they have nearly furnished it for us as well! Thank you, Lord! Our monthly support, while not exactly at the level we'd like to see, is coming along (I'm SO proud of Miguel for working so hard on that!) and we have the money we need for traveling and initial set-up expenses. The kids are enrolled in school and we have the school supply list in hand. It's neat to see how things are working out...they always do so I don't know why I bother to stress....