Last weekend my Gracia girl ended up with a straddle injury from jumping onto her bicycle seat a little too quickly and I was afraid we'd have to take her to the hospital to get a catheter or something because she could barely bring herself to pee because of the pain. I felt so badly and so helpless to help her. Maybe it wasn't the best decision, but I decided to deal with it at home instead of taking her to the doctor and subjecting her to the process of getting examined by a stranger.
We made it through one night and another day, but then the next night she woke me up from a pretty deep sleep twice complaining of a tummy ache. I sent her back to bed both times. I know that I was half-asleep and pretty out of it, but even so I recognized that I was pushing her away because I just didn't want to deal with it. I didn't know what to do, so I chose to do nothing. I felt the pricking of my conscience and recognition of my dysfunction, the way I sometimes push my kids away when I don't know how to deal with their pain. Even in my stupor, I knew that it was wrong.
I prayed. I told God that I didn't want to get up at 1 o'clock in the morning when I was so dead tired and that I didn't know what to do to comfort my daughter. I think I asked Him what to do. And He answered. I felt it very strong in my spirit (or wherever it is that God speaks to us) 'go to her'...I think I reminded God that I didn't really want to and I heard it again...'Go to her. Don't leave her alone when she is hurting.' So I got up and I went to her where she was laying on the couch and we sat together while she moaned in discomfort. I helped keep her hair out of her face while she threw up and I helped her clean it all up. And I held her and I tucked her back into bed where she slept for the rest of the night and I am so grateful for God's gentle voice that is teaching me how to be the mother I need to be. I am grateful that I am coming to the place where I can hear that voice because I'm pretty sure it's been there all along, waiting for me to listen.
The next day I didn't feel so well myself and it was Columbus Day anyway, so we took the day off school. I determined to make caring for Gracia my priority that day and so we spent hours sitting together on the couch where I helped her keep a frozen water bottle on her injury and got her to drink two glasses of ice tea so that she would not get dehydrated. I went to the bathroom with her and comforted her through the pain of going potty. It helped and she got better that day. To tell the truth, I got better that day, too.
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label parenting. Show all posts
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
No Public Hiney Inspections, Please!
A really funny thing happened to me yesterday...gave us a good laugh! Our family lives in the middle apartment of the Bible School dormitory for the single students...we aren't actually on staff with the Bible School since we have another ministry, but they needed someone to live here in a supervisory role at the same time we were available so here we are. :) We live in the middle apartment with the girls above and the guys downstairs in the basement. The building is constructed in such a way that the basement has windows at ground level. The screens on the windows allow you to see out from the inside, but you can't really see into the windows from the outside (which caused another embarrassing incident of Jojo taking a leak right outside one of said basement windows, not realizing that his own mother and several other people were in the basement laughing their heads off at the whole situation, but that's another story).
So yesterday, Jojo and Jkaile were out jumping on the trampoline, which is currently placed on the south side of the house so as to take advantage of the afternoon shade. There are at least three basement windows on that side, which is why one of the students downstairs felt compelled to come tell me that I needed to go check on the boys. Since he wouldn't tell me outright what he had seen, I figured it was most likely something bad...and when there are two little boys involved, you just never know!
Sure enough, I peeked around the corner of the porch in time to see Jkaile pull up his underwear and Jojo with a somewhat guilty look on his face. I thanked the student and called the boys to come inside, wondering how to deal with the situation and also feeling a little embarrassed that my children would be doing, well, that. And not only doing that, but doing it out in the yard in plain view of the street (maybe there is a reason why most passers-by stare at our house a lot!) and the basement (although they tend to forget that people can actually see out those windows).
It took a couple of minutes for the boys to get their shoes on (Jkaile was wearing two mismatched girl crocs that took a bit of figuring out) and come inside, which gave me a minute to settle down and then I remembered...Jkaile had been complaining all day of an "owie" bottom. Suddenly, the situation became very clear to me! Jojo, with his strong sense of empathy and caring for his baby brother, was in all likelihood, just checking things out to see if he could help! Sure enough, that's what Jojo confessed to when he came inside...
When I told Miguel about it later, we both had a good laugh at what it must have looked like to the guys downstairs! Maybe we should actually let know the inside scoop, eh? lol So then Miguel says, "I guess we need to tell Jojo not to conduct any (hiney) inspections in public!"
So yesterday, Jojo and Jkaile were out jumping on the trampoline, which is currently placed on the south side of the house so as to take advantage of the afternoon shade. There are at least three basement windows on that side, which is why one of the students downstairs felt compelled to come tell me that I needed to go check on the boys. Since he wouldn't tell me outright what he had seen, I figured it was most likely something bad...and when there are two little boys involved, you just never know!
Sure enough, I peeked around the corner of the porch in time to see Jkaile pull up his underwear and Jojo with a somewhat guilty look on his face. I thanked the student and called the boys to come inside, wondering how to deal with the situation and also feeling a little embarrassed that my children would be doing, well, that. And not only doing that, but doing it out in the yard in plain view of the street (maybe there is a reason why most passers-by stare at our house a lot!) and the basement (although they tend to forget that people can actually see out those windows).
It took a couple of minutes for the boys to get their shoes on (Jkaile was wearing two mismatched girl crocs that took a bit of figuring out) and come inside, which gave me a minute to settle down and then I remembered...Jkaile had been complaining all day of an "owie" bottom. Suddenly, the situation became very clear to me! Jojo, with his strong sense of empathy and caring for his baby brother, was in all likelihood, just checking things out to see if he could help! Sure enough, that's what Jojo confessed to when he came inside...
When I told Miguel about it later, we both had a good laugh at what it must have looked like to the guys downstairs! Maybe we should actually let know the inside scoop, eh? lol So then Miguel says, "I guess we need to tell Jojo not to conduct any (hiney) inspections in public!"
Friday, January 15, 2010
Monday, November 16, 2009
Sickies in the House...
After a really fun time at our mission school's Fall Festival this last Friday night (of which we have NO pictures because I forgot the camera!), Gracia woke up Saturday morning vomiting, achy, and running a pretty high fever. This is her third day of sickness, and now Miguel and Micah have it as well. At first I thought that it might be tonsilitis since Gracia is susceptible to that, but now that others are having the same symptoms, it has become obvious that it's a virus. Besides, I found out this morning that Gracia's teacher has been sick over the weekend as well. Miguel and I are both tired from being 'on call' round the clock...we tried different sleeping arrangements, but between caring for Gracia, now Micah, and then a night-time dirty diaper from Jkaile in the wee hours this morning, we just aren't getting a whole lot of rest.
I'm glad that we had no pressing appointments this weekend except for substituting for a Children's Church class yesterday (which Miguel was able to do solo), rare for us! This is partly due to the fact that today is a huge Mexican holiday, el 20 de noviembre (celebrated on the closest Monday), and all schools and many businesses are closed. All is quiet in our normally noisy neighborhood (school behind our property, industrial plots in front and beside our house).
I checked out two books from the school library on Friday and I'm so glad I did! A couple of new Gilbert Morris books for me (nice, light reading compared to some of the reading I've been into lately), and The Hobbit to read out loud to Micah. We've enjoyed it so much that we're very nearly done with the entire book already! At this point, Bilbo and the dwarves are trapped inside the Lonely Mountain, wondering how to conquer the dragon and retrieve their treasure...I only just recently watched The Fellowship of the Ring with Micah, so he's enjoyed hearing Bilbo's story and how he came to find the ring. Now the rest of the movies will make a bit more sense to him. I think The Hobbit was always my favorite book of the whole series anyway...
I will leave you with this really cute video of Jkaile (please ignore messy face and shirt and Gracia sticking her glass in the way!)...he recently learned how to wiggle his eyebrows. And since I finally cut his hair, we can actually SEE his eyebrows! We also figured out that his "funny face" is really a wink! Such a cutie! (by the way, "Gugi" is Jkaile's sibling-given nickname!)
I'm glad that we had no pressing appointments this weekend except for substituting for a Children's Church class yesterday (which Miguel was able to do solo), rare for us! This is partly due to the fact that today is a huge Mexican holiday, el 20 de noviembre (celebrated on the closest Monday), and all schools and many businesses are closed. All is quiet in our normally noisy neighborhood (school behind our property, industrial plots in front and beside our house).
I checked out two books from the school library on Friday and I'm so glad I did! A couple of new Gilbert Morris books for me (nice, light reading compared to some of the reading I've been into lately), and The Hobbit to read out loud to Micah. We've enjoyed it so much that we're very nearly done with the entire book already! At this point, Bilbo and the dwarves are trapped inside the Lonely Mountain, wondering how to conquer the dragon and retrieve their treasure...I only just recently watched The Fellowship of the Ring with Micah, so he's enjoyed hearing Bilbo's story and how he came to find the ring. Now the rest of the movies will make a bit more sense to him. I think The Hobbit was always my favorite book of the whole series anyway...
I will leave you with this really cute video of Jkaile (please ignore messy face and shirt and Gracia sticking her glass in the way!)...he recently learned how to wiggle his eyebrows. And since I finally cut his hair, we can actually SEE his eyebrows! We also figured out that his "funny face" is really a wink! Such a cutie! (by the way, "Gugi" is Jkaile's sibling-given nickname!)
Friday, January 16, 2009
Scattered Thoughts
My thoughts have been so scattered lately that it's hard even to sit and write a post unless I have pictures to sort of clue me in as to what to write! Well, it's hard to sit and write, period, because I keep getting interrupted...Jkaile likes to yank on my arm every few seconds, it seems, and while I'm trying to teach him to just put his hand on my arm, he doesn't seem to be getting the picture...
Miguel is on a trip right now, he and a colleague are at the Rio Grande Bible Institute representing our organization at their mission's conference. I'm really excited that he can go and I'm sure it will be a very interesting experience for him...but I'm really missing him here at home!!! I feel really scatterbrained and afraid I'll do something silly, like lock myself out of the house (which explains why I'm wearing my keys!). I did that once and had to wait outside for over an hour until Miguel got home...yeah. I'm sure somebody has extra keys to our house, but then I'd have to admit that yes, I locked myself out and that would be embarrassing...
I have been able to spend some good time with the kids, though, and I'm grateful that I'm feeling pretty well this week. I am getting tired, yes, but it's been manageable so far. I just have to remember to take care of myself...sounds funny, but I don't always do a good job of it! For one thing, making it a priority to be receiving my strength from God by staying connected through prayer and the Word. For another, not overestimating what I can do and then regretting not having rested more later...nearly every Mom can testify that the hours between 5 and 7 p.m. or so can be quite stressful! Everyone seems to be tired, cranky, demanding, hungry, etc. So if I don't rest in the early afternoon, I crash in the late afternoon and this week I have no back-up. That's one of the times that I really miss having Miguel's help with the kids...the other time being in the mornings, getting the kids ready for school. So I've been pacing myself and so far, so good.
This afternoon Gracia and I played some card games while Jojo and Jkaile were still sleeping...sad to say, she won nearly all the games we played! And then tonight I built a fire (is it just me, or do all MKs like to build bonfires?!) and we roasted hot dogs, tortillas, plátano, potatoes, and eggs (still need to work on the egg thing, but they were pretty good). The kids loved it (Jkaile a little too much, had to work hard to keep him away from the fire!), it was something different, and we didn't really add any dirty dishes to the pile!
Miguel is on a trip right now, he and a colleague are at the Rio Grande Bible Institute representing our organization at their mission's conference. I'm really excited that he can go and I'm sure it will be a very interesting experience for him...but I'm really missing him here at home!!! I feel really scatterbrained and afraid I'll do something silly, like lock myself out of the house (which explains why I'm wearing my keys!). I did that once and had to wait outside for over an hour until Miguel got home...yeah. I'm sure somebody has extra keys to our house, but then I'd have to admit that yes, I locked myself out and that would be embarrassing...
I have been able to spend some good time with the kids, though, and I'm grateful that I'm feeling pretty well this week. I am getting tired, yes, but it's been manageable so far. I just have to remember to take care of myself...sounds funny, but I don't always do a good job of it! For one thing, making it a priority to be receiving my strength from God by staying connected through prayer and the Word. For another, not overestimating what I can do and then regretting not having rested more later...nearly every Mom can testify that the hours between 5 and 7 p.m. or so can be quite stressful! Everyone seems to be tired, cranky, demanding, hungry, etc. So if I don't rest in the early afternoon, I crash in the late afternoon and this week I have no back-up. That's one of the times that I really miss having Miguel's help with the kids...the other time being in the mornings, getting the kids ready for school. So I've been pacing myself and so far, so good.
This afternoon Gracia and I played some card games while Jojo and Jkaile were still sleeping...sad to say, she won nearly all the games we played! And then tonight I built a fire (is it just me, or do all MKs like to build bonfires?!) and we roasted hot dogs, tortillas, plátano, potatoes, and eggs (still need to work on the egg thing, but they were pretty good). The kids loved it (Jkaile a little too much, had to work hard to keep him away from the fire!), it was something different, and we didn't really add any dirty dishes to the pile!
See...still got my keys on...
Monday, July 28, 2008
Getting motivated
It's 10:30 a.m. and I find myself avoiding everything that I SHOULD be doing and hanging out at the computer...guess I'm having trouble getting motivated! For one thing, I have a headache, which is my own fault for eating pizza and breadsticks on Saturday (I am allergic to yeast and cheese, but pizza is VERY hard to resist!). Both Miguel and I were very tired last night to begin with and then Micah threw up around midnight...my hero Miguel cleaned it all up and we were just getting settled back into bed when I heard the unmistakable sounds of diaper-filling from Jkaile's bed. sigh. I waited a little while until I thought he was finished, got up and changed his diaper and took him back to bed to nurse. I got him back to bed around 1 a.m. and was just nodding off again when I heard some more diaper sounds! double sigh. So I got him back up, changed his diaper and decided to put him back to bed without the nursing, since that might stimulate more diaper filling (it's a vicious cycle!)...and yep, there he went AGAIN!!! triple sigh. One more diaper change and then back to bed, much to his great displeasure...but he did eventually get back to sleep.
I had a hard time going to sleep at that point and I noticed Miguel doing his share of tossing and turning, too! Both of us were thinking about Miguel's appointment with INS (now USCIS) this morning to try to straighten out a complication on his application for naturalization...long story, but we've had a lot of snags and long waits, so we really don't want to mess anything up with that! I will post an update on that when Miguel gets home...I am really on pins and needles waiting for him to get home to find out what happened!!!! Anyway, I remember Miguel putting Jkaile in bed with me around 6 a.m. before he left and then the next thing I knew, it was 9 a.m.!!! Guess both of us were tired! :)
I am feeling very much overwhelmed with the giant list facing me and am much in need of a plan...I think I need to implement the 15 minute work plan that Flylady recommends. Set the timer for 15 minutes and work on just ONE thing until the timer goes off and then take a 5 minute break. If you do three 15 minute work sessions, you can focus better and get a lot done in just one hour. I can't handle everything I have to do this week right now, but I can handle 15 minutes of work at a time. :) Especially with a 5 minute coffee-break in there! Ha!
I had a hard time going to sleep at that point and I noticed Miguel doing his share of tossing and turning, too! Both of us were thinking about Miguel's appointment with INS (now USCIS) this morning to try to straighten out a complication on his application for naturalization...long story, but we've had a lot of snags and long waits, so we really don't want to mess anything up with that! I will post an update on that when Miguel gets home...I am really on pins and needles waiting for him to get home to find out what happened!!!! Anyway, I remember Miguel putting Jkaile in bed with me around 6 a.m. before he left and then the next thing I knew, it was 9 a.m.!!! Guess both of us were tired! :)
I am feeling very much overwhelmed with the giant list facing me and am much in need of a plan...I think I need to implement the 15 minute work plan that Flylady recommends. Set the timer for 15 minutes and work on just ONE thing until the timer goes off and then take a 5 minute break. If you do three 15 minute work sessions, you can focus better and get a lot done in just one hour. I can't handle everything I have to do this week right now, but I can handle 15 minutes of work at a time. :) Especially with a 5 minute coffee-break in there! Ha!
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Words of Encouragement for Weary Parents
"Jojo called me stupid!" Gracia said as she came crying to the office where I was trying to work on the computer. I sighed as I stopped what I was doing yet AGAIN to deal with the squabbling kids. Frankly, I get really TIRED of the tattling, squabbling, fighting, bugging, and provoking that goes on between them. And with three kids of squabbling age around (Jkaile's still a bit young to join in, but the day is coming!!!), there is bound to be a LOT of tattling going on.
Ironically, I was logging on to Focus on the Family's website and happened to click on the Parenting link. Lo and behold, there were a couple of articles on tattling! So here's what I have learned today:
I learned that I usually don't deal correctly with tattling because either I am not sure WHAT to do or I end up rewarding the tattler by getting the "offender" in trouble. I vaguely realize that I may not be dealing with the situation correctly, but I have had trouble knowing how to approach the situation.
Tattling is usually motivated by one sibling taking pleasure in getting the other in trouble, which can cause problems for that relationship as well as disrupt the entire household (in our house, this has certainly been the case!).
Parents can address the tattling situation and encourage peace by taking the following steps:
1. Help the tattler understand his/her motivation
2. Help the tattler understand the damaging effects of the tattling
3. Help the tattler replace tale-bearing with encouragement
4. Teach the tattler to practice what he/she has learned
Helping the tattler to understand the motives behind the tale-bearing by asking thought-provoking questions will take the focus off of the wrong that someone else has done and place it on their own motives. And by helping our kids think through their motives, we will be helping them learn how to make good decisions.
"Could it be that you are taking pleasure in getting your brother in trouble?"
"What are you hoping will happen to your brother by getting him in trouble?"
"How do you think your brother/sister feels when you tattle on them?"
"Will tattling bring you closer to your brother/sister or tear you apart?"
Sometimes there ARE good reasons for tattling, such as if a sibling is not listening to another child's encouragement to do the right thing, if a child is endangering themselves or someone else, or if a child is causing damage to toys or other property.
Then, it's good to replace wrong behavior for right...
"Rather than tattling, what could you have said to encourage your brother/sister?"
"How do you think it makes your brother/sister feel when you encourage them instead of trying to get them in trouble?"
A good way to teach children is by role-play...I know this, but I don't always remember to actually put it in action! It's good to immediately take the children back to the original situation and then walk them through how they COULD have acted in a loving way and avoided the tattling. It's good to make the original "offender" pay attention to the encouragement and thank their brother/sister for caring enough about them to talk to them.
Okay, GREAT ADVICE but here's the problem...this takes a LOT OF WORK! To do this means that I continually have to stop what I'm doing, get down on their level, and work it through with them. I know that it's what I need to do, but I find that I get really tired of the daily struggle for consistency in teaching and discipline. It's easier to just let something slide than to deal with it right away. It's hard to keep the long-range parenting goals in mind and remember the steps I need to take daily to get there. So I thought it was really neat that at the end of the article on tattling, the author included this verse:
Ironically, I was logging on to Focus on the Family's website and happened to click on the Parenting link. Lo and behold, there were a couple of articles on tattling! So here's what I have learned today:
I learned that I usually don't deal correctly with tattling because either I am not sure WHAT to do or I end up rewarding the tattler by getting the "offender" in trouble. I vaguely realize that I may not be dealing with the situation correctly, but I have had trouble knowing how to approach the situation.
Tattling is usually motivated by one sibling taking pleasure in getting the other in trouble, which can cause problems for that relationship as well as disrupt the entire household (in our house, this has certainly been the case!).
Parents can address the tattling situation and encourage peace by taking the following steps:
1. Help the tattler understand his/her motivation
2. Help the tattler understand the damaging effects of the tattling
3. Help the tattler replace tale-bearing with encouragement
4. Teach the tattler to practice what he/she has learned
Helping the tattler to understand the motives behind the tale-bearing by asking thought-provoking questions will take the focus off of the wrong that someone else has done and place it on their own motives. And by helping our kids think through their motives, we will be helping them learn how to make good decisions.
"Could it be that you are taking pleasure in getting your brother in trouble?"
"What are you hoping will happen to your brother by getting him in trouble?"
"How do you think your brother/sister feels when you tattle on them?"
"Will tattling bring you closer to your brother/sister or tear you apart?"
Sometimes there ARE good reasons for tattling, such as if a sibling is not listening to another child's encouragement to do the right thing, if a child is endangering themselves or someone else, or if a child is causing damage to toys or other property.
Then, it's good to replace wrong behavior for right...
"Rather than tattling, what could you have said to encourage your brother/sister?"
"How do you think it makes your brother/sister feel when you encourage them instead of trying to get them in trouble?"
A good way to teach children is by role-play...I know this, but I don't always remember to actually put it in action! It's good to immediately take the children back to the original situation and then walk them through how they COULD have acted in a loving way and avoided the tattling. It's good to make the original "offender" pay attention to the encouragement and thank their brother/sister for caring enough about them to talk to them.
Okay, GREAT ADVICE but here's the problem...this takes a LOT OF WORK! To do this means that I continually have to stop what I'm doing, get down on their level, and work it through with them. I know that it's what I need to do, but I find that I get really tired of the daily struggle for consistency in teaching and discipline. It's easier to just let something slide than to deal with it right away. It's hard to keep the long-range parenting goals in mind and remember the steps I need to take daily to get there. So I thought it was really neat that at the end of the article on tattling, the author included this verse:
Galatians 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good,
for at the proper time we will
reap a harvest if we do not give up.
I am so thankful that God led me to this article today! I needed some words of encouragement and I'm happy to say that my kids are now playing together rather nicely! I know that won't always be the case, but it's nice for now! :) And I pray that God will give me the wisdom and patience that I need to consistently teach my kids.
BTW: I found this article on the Focus on the Family website and it was written by Ginger Plowman, author and found of Preparing the Way Ministries which focuses on biblical parenting. Her website is www.gingerplowman.com.
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