Sunday, August 31, 2008

What would love look like?

I got very frustrated with Miguel yesterday...okay, well, a little angry, too! It boiled down to a cultural difference, I think, and I'm realizing more and more how laid-back Latin Miguel and time-conscious American Becky think so differently! You'd think I'd know that by now after nearly 13 years of marriage...

We were invited to a friend's house to grill hamburgers around noon (it's important to note here that it was another Latin couple who had invited us) and we were having a leisurely Saturday morning, thinking to leave around 11:30 a.m. when Miguel announced he was going to Home Depot (yep, there's one here in Mexico!). Since we had to buy the meat and bread for lunch, I asked him to stop by the store on the way home to pick that up...I really had my doubts as to whether he could get back in time, but I am trying not to be a bossy wife and didn't say anything.

So off he went with the two single guys from downstairs. I busied myself making banana bread, Sunday dinner, some ironing (that in itself is pretty incredible!!!), and getting ready to go to our friends' hour went by, two, two and a half...I really tried to resist the negative thoughts towards Miguel and the tension of knowing we were going to be late, but old habits die hard, I guess, and by the time he got home I was a bit tense. It turns out that he had taken one of the single guys to his church for an activity, then gone to Home Depot, then to the grocery store, where they took the time to grab a torta (sandwich) as well as do the shopping and Miguel honestly had little idea of the time when he got home. And culturally, he really wasn't doing anything 'wrong'...I find that pretty unbelievable, since in my mind, when I tell someone I will be somewhere at a certain time, I do everything in my power to get there at that time! My choice would not have been to go anywhere at all, knowing I wouldn't have time to do all that and still make it to the appointment on time...the funny part is that since our friends are Latin, too, they didn't expect us until we arrived (an hour or more late) and it was not a big deal at all! In fact, they were defrosting their refrigerator and really relaxed, there was absolutely no mention at all of the fact that we were late.

It was neat, though, to see how God is working in my heart. As I was wrestling with my feelings, I heard a question forming in my mind, "What would love look like in this situation?" The Love Chapter came to mind..."Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." I Cor. 13:4-7

I've been talking a lot to our kids about what love looks like as they relate to each other and their friends...the other day as I was making a bed with Micah, I showed him how sometimes the sheet is wrinkled, but the thick blanket will cover it and hide the wrinkles...and that's how love is, love can cover and hide all those 'sins' and things others do that bother us. It's really our choice as to whether we 'spread the blanket' or not! I realized that I could make a big issue of Miguel being late or I could choose to love...thank you God for helping me to love! And we had a wonderful time of fellowship with our friends without the tension of an argument in the background...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I found your blog from the coffeegirl confessions blog and wanted to comment on this post. I relate to the whole worrying about being late and then finding it wasn't a big deal at all!
What a neat illustration about the blanket!
Our family is serving in Peru.