Church Meeting

A few weeks ago, my Mom called with the news that she had run into a pastor friend of hers at Walmart.  This pastor is actually the one who baptized my Mom when she was a young teenager...his first pastorate was in the little country church that my Mom's family attended.  Pastor Ed has followed my family's missionary journey and always invited my parents to share at the different churches where they have pastored over the years. 

Pastor Ed has pastored the Spring River Indian Baptist Church for a few years and this church has supported my Mom's ministry during that time.  Now that my Mom is retired, however, they have been wondering where to find another missionary to partner with...my Mom just happened to have a name handy and that is how we came to share about our ministry at the Spring River Indian Baptist Church this last Sunday.

We were given a warm welcome and the entire hour to show pictures and share about our future ministry in Puebla. 

One of the interesting things about this church is their passion for missions...not only do they give to the general mission fund of the IMB, they also desire to partner with and support a missionary family with whom they have a personal relationship!  We could tell they were excited about the possibilities and they did, in fact, vote to take us on as their missionaries.  It was a true blessing for us to have this opportunity to share about our ministry with them and they have already blessed us...we look forward to visiting them again before we leave for Mexico.

Victory

An update on the sharing of the testimony last night...I did it and praise God that He gave me the words to say! I was nervous at first, but then I was okay. And yes, I did cry, but that was okay, too, I think there were quite a few others with tears as well! Many of the ladies told me that they appreciated what I had to share and that it meant a lot to them that I was willing to be so open. And one of the ladies also told me that she thought I did a very good job at not oversharing, but being prudent and careful with my words. So thanks be to God for using me and today I am at peace.

In the last week, I've had 3 different bad dreams on different nights. One of those nights, Miguel woke me up since I was apparently I was talking in my sleep. I'm glad he woke me up because it was a scary dream! But, I'm very thankful that each time I was able to wake up, pray, and ask God for help. The one night I had Miguel pray for me, which was pretty special since he's usually not exactly awake enough to do that! I have taken the opportunity after each scary dream to search my heart and confess any sin that comes to mind or just spend time in prayer. I feel like I am having victory in this area and that my heart is generally more inclined towards God on a daily basis. Thank you to those who have prayed!

I will extol the Lord at all times;

his praise will always be on my lips.

My soul will boast in the Lord;

let the afflicted hear and rejoice.

Glorify the Lord with me;

let us exalt his name together.

I sought the Lord, and he answered me;

he delivered me from all my fears.

Those who look to him are radiant;

their faces are never covered with shame.

This poor man called,

and the Lord heard him;

he saved him out of all his troubles.

The angel of the Lord encamps

around those who fear him,

and he delivers them.

Taste and see that the Lord is good;

blessed is the man who takes refuge in him.

Fear the Lord, you his saints,

for those who fear him lack nothing...

The righteous cry out and the Lord hears them;

he delivers them from all their troubles.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:1-9, 17-18

I have always loved Psalm 34; it is usually very comforting to me. When I was five years old, my Mom taught me a song using the first four verses...I think it's the first song I ever remember learning, which is maybe why it is special to me as it relates to those memories. :)

What to say?

As one of the new members of this field, I have been invited to share my testimony and jouney to Mexico at the ladies' meeting tonight (along with the other "new" ladies). The thought of sharing my testimony makes me nervous and has caused quite a bit of anxiety...what to say? It was encouraging to review a couple of other blogs and find out that I am not the only one who is faced with this "dilemma" of what to say...how transparent and open should I be? Public speaking is not my favorite thing to do in the first place since I feel very self-conscious when everyone's focus is on me (why my chosen profession is a teacher is a mystery! but somehow that's different...). And the last few years of my life haven't been very pretty...a lot of struggles in my walk with God, in my marriage and ministry, as a Mom...and while yes, circumstances were difficult, I don't think that all my choices were good ones as I struggled to deal with life. Instead of being open and honest about things, however, in the past I've tended to put on the mask of "All is fine" when all has NOT been fine underneath.

I think one of my biggest fears is rejection...what people will think of me. Will I sound immature, petty, self-centered, whiny if I share about my struggles? Another concern I have is in how much to share...not everyone needs to know all the "gory details" and I certainly don't want to cause any disrespect to my husband by oversharing. I also know that if I share anything more on the personal side, I will probably cry. I don't know why I am so embarrassed by tears in public, but I am (it's something that I'm working on...).

So anyway, I have been sorting through my feelings and fears...separating the legitimate from the rest. And it was neat that one of the topics at a devotional I attended this morning was rejection! The teacher was pointing out that rejection really isn't the main problem, rejection is merely the byproduct of each of us "playing God", setting standards, and then judging whether others have met those standards or not. It boils down to whether I'm living by other people's standards or God's. Where do I find my well-being? What a relief to know I don't have to accept the "rejection"...I don't have to "live" there! Rejection is fueled by fear and who uses that? Lies and Fear are tools from the Other Side to get us down...and besides, all the while I'm focusing on what other people may or may not think (which is really a self-focus), that is time lost from focusing on Christ. One time Miguel gave me some advice..."It's not all about you, Becky!" I don't think I appreciated that at the time, but he was so right. :)

Okay, you caught me rambling here...so, what to say? The question is not so much what do I have to say, but what does God want me to say? I like what He has to say in II Corinthians 1:3-5:

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,

the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort,

who comforts us in all our troubles,

so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort

we ourselves have received from God.

For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives,

so also through Christ our comfort overflows.

God HAS been a comfort to me and I'm so grateful for His compassion towards me! I have come to thank God for my struggles because without them, I wouldn't have come to know the depth of my need for Him every day. And if sharing some of what I've learned will encourage even just one lady tonight, then it will be worth it!