Saturday, October 18, 2008

Crybaby

I have been struggling with a bad attitude all day.

There, I've said it. I'm a crybaby.

All I really wanted to do today was go back to bed. I don't feel that great, I'm super-tired, but probably most of all, I'm simply tired of taking care of everyone else and their needs all week...don't I deserve a break!!!???

Unfortunately, Miguel's plans for the day didn't exactly coincide with mine and it turned out that he was gone all day, and now will be out all evening as well. And I have struggled with being mad about that all day long. I knew I was being grouchy and feeling sorry for myself, but I kept hanging on to what I perceived as my 'rights'. But God kept whispering to my heart, gently drawing me away from my self-centered sinfulness towards a more godly perspective.

I began thinking about my "trash bag policy"...you see, Miguel is really good at taking out the trash for me, but not very good at replacing the bags. I often found myself angry with him for not replacing the bags instead of thankful that he had taken out the trash! So when I would notice that there were no bags in the trash cans, I would focus on the positive by lovingly thanking Miguel for taking out the trash (he quickly caught on that it usually meant that he hadn't remembered to replace the bags...it is now a family joke). A grateful and thankful heart will have no room for selfish, critical attitudes.

The honest truth is that Miguel is an amazing husband and father in so many ways, and he helps me out on a daily basis a lot more than many husbands and fathers! He deserves some fun and a day out once in a while-I should be happy for him...besides, who am I to judge whether he made the right choice by going out today? Yes, it's been a rough day, but I managed to rest a little this morning and even get a decent nap this afternoon while my 3 youngest were napping. In the end, God has given me grace to make the choice to build up my house and not tear it down.

The wise woman builds her house,
but with her own hands
the foolish one tears hers down.
Proverbs 14:1

4 comments:

CA RN to Honduras Missionary said...

Hang in there my friend! I find that once in awhile I start feeling sorry for myself as well! It's our human frailty! So don't think you are the only one - but your perspective is good - keep fighting the fight! :-)

Becky Aguirre said...

Thanks for the encouragement! I am very thankful that God is faithful to keep working even when we are crybabies...

Ellie said...

Hi Becky - hope things are getting better for you. Everyone has down days at times... it is just a pity that they don't always fit in everyone else's schedule!

I think there are times to be a cry baby - if we feel like that, better to go before God and tell Him the truth than trying to hide it. He knows. When I do that, I am surprised to find that He is often gentle with my human weakness and not harsh, even when I could deserve a scolding.

Becky Aguirre said...

And I think that's why I continue to be amazed at God's grace!!! Because He's been gentle and faithful to me even when I deserved to be scolded and 'put in my place'. :) I was able to get a solid 2 hour nap in yesterday afternoon and today I woke up much less tired. I think maybe I'm on the upswing? I hope so!!!!