There, I've said it. I'm a crybaby.
All I really wanted to do today was go back to bed. I don't feel that great, I'm super-tired, but probably most of all, I'm simply tired of taking care of everyone else and their needs all week...don't I deserve a break!!!???
Unfortunately, Miguel's plans for the day didn't exactly coincide with mine and it turned out that he was gone all day, and now will be out all evening as well. And I have struggled with being mad about that all day long. I knew I was being grouchy and feeling sorry for myself, but I kept hanging on to what I perceived as my 'rights'. But God kept whispering to my heart, gently drawing me away from my self-centered sinfulness towards a more godly perspective.
I began thinking about my "trash bag policy"...you see, Miguel is really good at taking out the trash for me, but not very good at replacing the bags. I often found myself angry with him for not replacing the bags instead of thankful that he had taken out the trash! So when I would notice that there were no bags in the trash cans, I would focus on the positive by lovingly thanking Miguel for taking out the trash (he quickly caught on that it usually meant that he hadn't remembered to replace the bags...it is now a family joke). A grateful and thankful heart will have no room for selfish, critical attitudes.
The honest truth is that Miguel is an amazing husband and father in so many ways, and he helps me out on a daily basis a lot more than many husbands and fathers! He deserves some fun and a day out once in a while-I should be happy for him...besides, who am I to judge whether he made the right choice by going out today? Yes, it's been a rough day, but I managed to rest a little this morning and even get a decent nap this afternoon while my 3 youngest were napping. In the end, God has given me grace to make the choice to build up my house and not tear it down.
The wise woman builds her house,
but with her own hands
the foolish one tears hers down.