Monday, July 27, 2009

Drained...

Today I feel totally and completely drained and empty...really struggling to be that happy-go-lucky Becky that I usually am...no energy, no ánimo, no get-up-and-go...I'm not sure exactly what triggers it (although we've been quite busy lately...) and I'm not sure if it's physical, emotional, mental, spiritual or a mix of all those things. I have long struggled with depression and this seems to be what it looks like.

So I'm fighting back by putting into practice the things I've learned...up my time in the Word, take it easy, don't expect wonders or miracles out of myself, go to bed early, crack down on the negative thoughts/emotions/self-talk, focus on the positive, take naps, don't start any big projects, remember that "this, too shall pass", do something fun, spend time with the kids...don't know that I feel like I'm making headway, but you know, I'm learning to not pay so much attention to how I feel and just continue doing what I know to be good and healthy. This cycle of feelings will pass and things will get better...eventually!
On a positive note, one encouraging thing is that I do seem to be making some progress in the area of my fingernails! I took the fake nails off a few days ago to see how it would go and while my natural nails are still quite short, they are growing! I was getting quite frustrated with the acrylic nails anyway...I kept having to replace them because my busy mom/housewife lifestyle is just too hard on those things! I keep finding lost fingernails in odd places...

6 comments:

Angela said...

I know the feeling. Praying for you! Hang in there.

I had to laugh at those fingernails. Sometimes beauty is very inconvenient.

Becky Aguirre said...

Thanks, Ang! I think I'm mostly just plain worn out! I also felt kind of sick this afternoon, so maybe there's a bug going around...we have had company all day, seems like! Good, but also more tiring...but that's life. Will keep you posted...and yeah, the things we do in the name of 'beauty'! lol

Terri :o) said...

I just now saw this. I've been drained lately, too, and beed doing a similar evaluation. I think it's easy for stay-at-home moms to get so busy with everything else for everyone else, and we just simply forget to slow down and take time for God. And that does drain us.

For years I chewed my fingernails to the quick. I can't wear the fake nails because I always get them caught on something and my nails are so thin and fragile that it would rip them totally off. I finally broke the habit, and although I will never have beautiful hands and nails, at least you can usually see at least 1/4 inch of white. :) My trick, I filed them or trimmed them at least every other day. I figured out what drove me nuts was if they got rough or chipped. So if I could file them down or trim off the chipped part I didn't get started on chewing. So I keep a nail kit by my chair and use it often. I still don't polish my nails, I'm just not that girly. :) Since I hate emery boards I invested in one of those ceremic nail files, because they don't make the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

But just a warning about the ceramic nail files--never put them in your back pocket. They will break if you sit down. :)

Becky Aguirre said...

@Terri-I guess you are speaking from experience about the ceramic nail files?! LOL! :) I don't think I've seen one of those, actually, I've mostly used the cardboard ones and then it's Jkaile that breaks them...I don't think I knew that you chewed your nails! You must be doing a good job at growing them! :)

a56piano said...

I know this isn't a new post - but I've been struggling with the same thing - off and on. Thought I was better, then bam, yesterdy I felt wiped out for no reason! I've finally decided that part of my problem is hormonal, another part is this cultural adjustment (I don't want to admit to any of this, mind you), and part of it is, well.... mild depression (not needing professional treatment, so it can't be a 'real' depression, can it?) Sigh. I like your discoveries - they are also what I'm discovering - just do what i can, and QUIT beating myself up over what I can't/don't get "done", take this time to "be" in Father's presence without having to PERFORM! somehow it's comforting to a) not be the only one and b) be learning some of the same lessons

Becky Aguirre said...

@Laura-thanks for leaving your comment, I appreciate your honesty! I checked out your blog a bit, so that's how I came up with your name...lol! :)

I have struggled with depression a lot in the last few years, although I'm happy to say I feel like I'm learning how to overcome...and I am finding out that days like these seem to be part and parcel of that. Funny that sometimes days like that hit me and don't seem to have anything to do with anything else, just that it's a 'down' day. So who knows, those are just days when I need to cling to the Vine and know that I will feel better in the morning. :)

And I agree, beating yourself up over does NOT help! Definitely not from our gracious heavenly Father...