(Mostly) Straight from my Journal

February 13, 2012

I continue to feel a bit disconnected.  I tried to update my status on FB last night and there just wasn't anything there.  Everything I wrote sounded flat and/or lifeless.  I want to write on my blog, but it's easier to just watch a show or check the news or read a book.  It's kind of like writer's block, except that it's not that there is nothing to write about, but maybe because there is too much and I don't know where to start.  I hope I get over this soon, because the words are building up in my head!  I'm afraid I will lose these words altogether, which would be a shame.

I read a post the other day about feeling small...sometimes I wonder if my story matters that much.  I wonder if I'm having a confidence crisis or focusing too much on what people will think? I tend to be self-conscious about who I am and what I write.  But I really do need to write...it's an outlet for me.  I need to write for me.

And I need to remember that a post doesn't need to be long or complicated.  Some of the blogs I enjoy the most are the shorter ones with a few pictures...so I think I just need to Nike---just do it.  I suspect I have more to say than I think.

Miguel went to Poza Larga (a small Totonac community in the mountains-his second visit there) and I so wanted to go with him.  But since we're going to homeschool camp next week, we couldn't afford to miss the schooldays (we are hoping to go to Poza Larga as a family soon).

I am not feeling well, but I rested all day yesterday and am feeling better today.  It's a weird flu/cough that is giving me a bit of a throat infection as well.  Funny thing is that it also gave me a pain in my neck and shoulder.  Miguel had the same pain when he left, which was weird, and I hope he doesn't get worse while he's traveling.  I told Micah that I had a pain in my neck, but assured him that it wasn't him.  Ha!

The kids have been squabbling a lot in recent days--I suspect that this is very normal sibling stuff, but it is driving me nuts.  And I suspect also that when I don't handle it well, it just makes it worse.  But today is another day and God's mercies are new once again.