Leadership

I've been thinking a lot about leadership lately as I've reflected on past experiences with leadership and my responses to those experiences...as time has gone by and we're in a better position now, I think I'm better able to evaluate those experiences and see them more clearly, for good or for bad.

And now that I'm a little more aware of leadership issues, I think I'm seeing leadership crises everywhere!  On top of that, I'm now much more aware of my own leadership style and recognizing that I need to try to understand what it means for my own life so that I can lead in a way that honors God.

The other day I picked up a book that Miguel is reading called Journeys to Significance by Neil Cole.  I wasn't really looking for a book on leadership, but once I thumbed through a few pages, I was rather hooked!  This book isn't like any other book on leadership that I've ever read (not that I've read that many, but let's be honest, most books on the topic of 'leadership' just sound like they will be boring!).

The author writes from the perspective of "Charting a Leadership Course From the Life of Paul" and again, his book is intriguing because he has an angle on the different journeys that Paul made that I'd never considered before. In the author's words, "This book offers strategic missional lessons that can help you be more fruitful; but, even more, it focuses on the leadership formation that Paul went through." The author goes on to outline each of Paul's mission journeys and how each reflects his growing maturity in leadership.

This quote towards the beginning of the book really caught my attention and I've been camping out there for a few weeks now...

"In its basic essence, leadership is not hard to define. In fact, you can literally sum it up in one word: influence. It is not hard to find books about good leadership, but finding someone who leads well is not as easy.

Many have defined leadership as getting other people to do what you want them to. That is influence, so I guess it is a form of leadership, albeit one that is selfish and manipulative. Even when we convince ourselves that we are readily only doing what we know to be for the good of those we are manipulating, it is still an insult at best and deceptive at worst. It tends to treat everyone as a child incapable of making a good decision. It also leaves the people being influenced unprepared to eventually grow on their own and lead others.

The best leaders are not those who have the most followers but those who develop and deploy other leaders. The true test of a leader's influence is to look at what is left behind once the leader is gone. This lesson, however, is not something that one learns in an introductory course on leadership. It comes with the maturity that develops over the course of many struggles, setbacks and seeming failures.  

Perhaps this is why so few leaders today actually empower and release others but rather corral them in ministry contexts with the promise of services and entertaining productions. I wonder if our leaders have not fought through the lessons necessary to their becoming leaders who finish well and, as a result, have ended up simply casting their own vision and peddling their own influence. Instead of new leaders, the product of such influence peddlers is a growing congregation of consumers who beg to know "What have you done for me lately?" Or, as my friend Bob Logan says, "They're all tuned in to the same radio station--W-I-I FM, What's In It For Me?""

I think this quote has really struck deep with me because we're in a situation now where (praise God!) we have a leader who 'leads well' (we are so blessed!). Our experience with this type of leadership has been in stark contrast to our experiences with previous leaders. We really do feel empowered and like we're being encouraged to grow in our own leadership skills.  We don't have to be afraid of disagreeing with our leader for fear that he will be angry or upset or chalk it up to us being rebellious.  We aren't afraid to make decisions and we don't feel like we're being micro-managed. We are not afraid of being labeled as 'not team players' (I agree that there are those who are loners and stubbornly independent, but just because one member of the team has a different opinion than the rest does not mean that that person is wrong or not a team player...in fact, it could mean the opposite, that they are more in tune to God's leading than the rest!).

In fact, every time we have a meeting with our leader, either over skype or in person, at the end he lets us know how much he loves working with us! He tells us how he appreciates us and the way our hearts want to serve God and how open and honest we are with him about our ministry. He prays over us and thanks God for the opportunity that he has been given to work with us, as if the privilege is his to work with us, not ours to work under him.

When I hear him say things like that, I can't help but feel uncomfortable and then cry because I'm not used to receiving that kind of affirmation from a leader (I have to admit that I'm so jaded that at times I even wonder if he's being sincere...does he really mean those things or is he just saying that?!).  Because to tell you the truth, we've been in ministry for quite a few years now and I can honestly tell you that no leader has ever said those kinds of words to us before and that is just really, really sad.  Maybe there was a compliment here and there, but nothing on this level. How sad that we can't naturally just take his words at face value...but I think we're becoming confident enough to accept them. 

I think it has something to do with the basic assumptions of leadership in a mission agency (and I speak about mission agencies, because that's my context).  Many agencies seem to have the philosophy of "How can you help us do what we do?", which tends to reduce members more to the level of 'playing pieces' to be moved about the 'game board' at the convenience of leadership. Thus, once the members are no longer considered as useful in a certain position, they might be vulnerable to pressure by leadership to move into a different ministry even though it might not be where they really want to be (being asked by leadership to consider filling this or that position might even be seen as 'the will of God' when leadership has such power over the members). In short, this style of leadership allows for a dangerous level of dysfunction to arise, IMHO and in my personal experience.

In contrast, there are those agencies who have this view, "Where is God leading you and how can we help you get there?" This implies a certain humility by leadership as they view themselves not so much as leaders, but as helpers who come alongside the members to guide them into the place where God is leading. This dynamic tends to create an environment that actually discourages dysfunction on the part of leadership (not that there might not be dysfunction, but it is much less likely to exist simply because of the leadership structure itself).

So, lots of stuff going on in my head regarding leadership as I reflect on past and current experiences and my own leadership style.  Am I trying to exert the wrong kind of influence (control) over those under my leadership (as in, my kids)? Or am I looking to come alongside them to empower, to raise up and release them to God's leading on their lives?

Good question...

Aguirre Family Ministry Update

I was reading this morning from Romans chapter 4, where Paul is talking about Abraham's faith and belief in God...

Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, "So shall your offspring be."  Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead-since he was about a hundred years old-and that Sarah's womb was also dead.

Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.  This is why it was credited to him as righteousness.  Romans 4:18-22

I've always thought that I'd love to have that kind of faith and unwavering trust in God.  I realized this morning that maybe I have...at least a tiny bit of it anyway.  And while I am not sure that I would presume to think that my faith quite measures up to Abraham's, maybe it doesn't need to.  Jesus said that faith the size of a mustard seed is enough to move mountains...so maybe my baby steps towards an Abraham-sized faith is right where God wants me for now.

I wrote a few weeks ago about our ministry and the upheaval we're going through this summer....there's still so much uncertainty in our situation.  At this point, it does appear that we are packing and preparing to leave Mexico to take our furlough home assignment* and yet...we might actually stay, or at least come back if God changes some things.  If we do leave and God shows us that we're moving on, we may or may not go to Venezuela.  We may or may not move in a completely different direction and end up on a remote island in the Pacific, for all I know!

So much uncertainty and yet here I am, former uptight, I-need-to-know-NOW, controlling, worry wart of a woman exhibiting a simple, child-like trust in God that goes way way beyond anything I ever dreamed possible for myself!  Not that I didn't want it, just that I didn't know how to get it.  I am astonished at and ever so grateful for the changes that God has worked in me to bring me to this place of trust (because that's the only way to 'get it' anyway, I had to give up and let God do the work).  For example, if we really might be led to stay in Mexico, then maybe it's not such a good idea to be selling or gifting our things, right?  And yet I have complete assurance that if God moves us to stay, then He will replace the things we need when we need them and worrying about that is not something that I need to clutter up my life with right now.**  There are more important things to focus on, like being cheerful and meeting my kids' needs today.

I don't know that I am actually quite sure about going to Venezuela under the present circumstances and yet I have complete peace in honoring Miguel's ministry decisions because I know that God and His Plan is in control here (Proverbs 19:21).  It might sound contradictory, but I see it as choosing to step aside and let God be the one to reveal that plan as He sees fit through my husband and trust that God will work to change what is not for the best for our family (Proverbs 3:5-6).  I don't have to try to convince Miguel of anything...just pray and trust and calmly share my thoughts when asked or as God leads.  I couldn't do that before because I was too worried that my dear husband might make a mistake that I would have to 'suffer' for (quite humbling for me to have to admit, but yeah, that's how it was).

So this is a time when it is so obvious that God is working to change and grow us because we're ready for Him to work...it's also a time when God is using us to speak truth to others regarding some situations that we find ourselves in right now.  Yes, we're struggling in some areas, haven't done everything perfectly, and yet these things are the very tools that God is using to shape, grow and mature us.  It's an exciting place to be, even though the learning and growing process has been painful as we're stretched farther than we think we can go.

But this trust, this simple faith, this peace (Philippians 4:6-7) is amazing.  I think I want more.

Philippians 3:7-14

*The current plan is to land in Northwest Arkansas mid-August, find a place to stay and for Miguel to work for a time as we pray and think through our options while working through the decision-making process with our home church there...

**I used to think that this sort of faith was a fluffy, too-spiritual-to-be-real sort of thing...like people who said that were just in some sort of denial or something and that sooner or later they would 'come to their senses' and realize that real life is quite different...and while I don't want to go to the extreme of being naive or unwise, what I am experiencing is something totally different and more real and healthy than my former anxious state of mind... 

Notes from Beth Moore

Brace yourselves for a LONG post! :) I tried to take a nap today, but it didn't last long...I just kept feeling very strongly that I needed to get these notes typed up (however 'rough' they are-I know I couldn't catch everything) and posted, emailed, printed, etc. And in saying that, if you would like a more printable copy, let me know and I will email it to you.

Before I begin, however, just let me say that the conference was pretty amazing! We were given the VIP treatment, as in free tickets and 3rd row seats!!! Beth sat not five feet in front of us during the worship times! It felt a little unreal at times...I will post pictures after the notes...anyway, the message of the conference was something that spoke intimately and deeply to each and every one of us that was there. And I think that God might have something in there for you, too! So happy reading!

Treasure in the Trash

Hebrews 10:23-25, 32-39 NIV

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess,

for he who promised is faithful.

And let us consider how we may spur one another on

toward love and good deeds.

Let us not give up meeting together,

as some are in the habit of doing,

but let us encourage one another—

and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Remember those earlier days after

you had received the light,

when you stood your ground in a

great contest in the face of suffering.

Sometimes you were publicly exposed

to insult and persecution;

at other times you stood side by side

with those who were so treated.

You sympathized with those in prison and

joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property,

because you knew that you yourselves

had better and lasting possessions.
So do not throw away your confidence;

it will be richly rewarded.

You need to persevere so that when

you have done the will of God,

you will receive what he has promised.

For in just a very little while,

"He who is coming will come and will not delay.

But my righteous one will live by faith.

And if he shrinks back,

I will not be pleased with him."

But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed,

but of those who believe and are saved.

Topic: Losing confidence and experiencing self-doubt

Do you suffer from a slow leak of confidence? 2 or 3 ounces at a time?
Where do I get the most affirmation?
Am I looking to someone else or my circumstances as my source of confidence?
No one can threw away my confidence except me!

Reconnect with God-given confidence
-feelings can be toxic and need to change
-time to “fire” the ones that I have allowed to become my mirror of confidence

Three ways to lose confidence
1. Can come from a “slow leak”-dribbling out over time
2. Can come from a “break”, sudden loss of confidence
3. Or you just never really had any in the first place
-brokenness-just seems not to hold the Holy Spirit
-this may be a stronghold of unbelief in God and His Word
Results are still the same-you have thrown away your confidence!

Don’t confuse Confidence with Pride or Lack of Self-Confidence with Humility!

If I don’t have confidence in God or His Word, I will not be able to fulfill God’s will for my life.


What we need is Humble Confidence

HUMBLE Apart from Me, you can do nothing. John 15:5

CONFIDENCE Through Me, you can do anything. Phil. 4:13

**Do not throw away your confidence, for which there is great reward!

Acts 4:13 “courage” Hebrews 10:35 “confidence” translated from the Hebrew

“parresia” which means “confidence with much courage”
-the people were astonished at their confidence with much courage and noted that they
had been with Jesus
God can take ordinary, unschooled people and turn them into brilliant and extraordinary

The enemy seeks to undermine my God-confidence
-we allow people and circumstances to steal our confidence and our identity
-the leading source of “identity theft” in America comes from “dumpster diving”
We need to claim back the things that are ours!
Sometimes we treat trash like treasures and treasures like trash.

Find your identity in Christ and use it with confidence.
Anyone set up as a false savior will devastate us eventually, even if it is someone that loves and cares for us

Digging my Treasures out of the Trash

1) Stop giving people power over us that only God should have
-you can love them and be committed to them without giving them power only
God should have
-relationships do not have to equal bondage

2) We are going to check the trash bin for some truth
-head and heart full of Scripture is what will keep me from throwing away my confidence
-Acts 4:13-15-having the kind of life that attracts others to Christ
-the truth of Scripture is meant to rock our world, not sit in our minds

3) Stop halting the work before some trash turns into treasure
-Don’t give up too soon just because the pain and suffering has been relieved
-God works every single little bit of “trash” in our lives into good if we persevere
-God can take the experience and make me a miracle, but if I shrink back, God will not
be pleased with me
-I will not be done with the process of trash turning to treasure until I have been
rewarded-DON’T STOP THE PROCESS
-Persevere in my area of gifting
-it might not come naturally or smoothly at first
-stir the gift into a flame-perfect it
-see it through to the reward
-Hebrews 12 We perform before witnesses
Who are the witnesses? Abraham, Moses, Isaac, Isaiah…
-You cannot serve God and remain a WIMP! Character is developed over time
-SADD=Spiritual ADD-we haven’t listened to God’s answer to a request before we put
in another one
-Our culture is mass-producing wimps and social wimps
-Don’t allow technology (email and social-networking sites) to replace personal
social relationships
-face-to-face relationships require change in me!
-important for my character and true transformation
-keep a circle of friends that will help in this area, esp. if you are single

4) Remember the victories that you and God have had together
-stand on those victories
-God and I have a history with each other!
-Am I going to quit now over some small obstacle when God has gotten me through
greater things before?
-God has been faithful to me

5) Show courage even before you feel courage
-"Stay alert, stand firm in the faith, show courage, be strong" I Cor. 16:13 NET
-courage and confidence are not necessarily synonymous
-confidence must always have courage
-we tend to repeat the same old response patterns
-Carnal Coping Skill-we all have a CCS in our human flesh and nature
-panic, binge, starve, drink, sleep, disconnect, self-gratification
-THAT is WIMPING OUT

The pattern goes like this:

Threatened --> Carnal Coping --> Failure --> Affirms Carnal Coping --> Leads us to Trash our Confidence, and then we become confident that we ARE trash! --> back to Carnal Coping…etc.

This pattern Destroys Confidence

The new pattern:

Threatened --> Do the God Thing-SHOW COURAGE --> Pray, Do the Courageous Thing --> Builds Confidence/Breaks Addictions -->SHOW COURAGE…etc.

This pattern Boosts Confidence

-Our children need to see us show courage; be an example for them
-God knows that it’s scary to be us
-He knows it can be brutal
-And yet He says, take confidence

6) Trash the self-condemnation
-I John 3:19-21 – confidence before God=no self-condemnation
-CONDEMNATION = ENEMY
-CONVICTION = GOD and leads to repentance
-self-loathing does not please God
-Come to a place of believing God’s truth MORE than I believe my emotions
-Heb. 4:16 I have a High Priest-confidence to go before the throne
-God will make it worth my while to persever
-Promise of Scripture = Reward
-if we persevere…even if we die persevering, we will die faithful
-the reward will come, in this life or our eternal reward
-be wary of people who make you feel like you have a weak will
-Heb. 10:23-25
-letter of Hebrews a Call to Community
-I Cor. 12-we NEED one another!
-we aren’t meant to overpower or be overpowered

7) Encourage and receive encouragement
-some people comfortable receiving, but not giving
-some people comfortable giving, but not receiving
-It helps build our confidence to accept an encouragement
-Encouragement is so different from flattery
-flattery focused on the “encourager”
-want to get something out of you, favor, reputation, etc.
-One reason we hesitate to encourage others is because we’re afraid to build up pride
in each other-but that's really between them and God
-In our culture, women will never be able to measure up
-we are looking to the media for our self-confidence. And it’s all a LIE.
-older generations didn’t have to deal with the assaults of visual media
-We are hurting!
-Take the chance that my encouragement will NOT build pride, but BOOST their
confidence enough to continue on one more day.
-Err on the side of encouragement!
-Heb. 10:24 “Consider how…” Perceive and discover individual needs in this area
-what will motivate different people to love and good works
-Joshua 1:8 Success before God
-“Meditation” What am I “consistently thinking about”?
-“stronghold” is anything that takes an obsessive stream of thought in my mind

8) Daily and deliberately believe God over every other influence
-Persevere in Scripture memory
-We need our Scripture in our brain
-choose verses for ME (not my spouse, children, etc), choose what I need.