Thoughts on Believing God

Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness.

Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, "So shall your offspring be." Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead-since he was about one hundred years old-and that Sarah's womb was also dead. Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.

This is why "it was credited to him as righteousness." The words "it was credited to him" were written not for him alone, but also for us who believe in him who raised Jesus our Lord from the dead. He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification.

Romans 4:3, 18-25

I attend a ladies' Bible study at our local church here in Mexico and a few weeks ago, we had some planning sessions to map out goals and activities for the year 2010. One thing that we decided to do was to dedicate the first day of every month to prayer and fasting, each in our own way. Fasting isn't a discipline that I have regularly pursued, so I thought that this would interesting to see how this would work out for me as I participate with the other ladies in this way.

Wouldn't you know that I completely forgot about it yesterday?

Yeah.

But instead of waiting for next month to roll around and try again (besides, they might ask for reports at Bible study tomorrow, ack!), I decided to just work it into my day today (Yes, I know you aren't really supposed to let everyone know when you are fasting, but this all works into my thoughts on believing God...besides, I'm not going around all pitiful and hungry, looking for admiration or sympathy. Trust me, I am NOT holier than thou...).

Since this is designed to be an exercise for prayer and meaningful time spent with God, I wanted to choose some verses to meditate on for today. I was leafing through my Bible wondering what passage(s) to read when my Bible fell open to Romans 4. I have it marked because I'm supposed to read this chapter 20 times during Beth Moore's Believing God study that I doing this year (with my English Bible study group and yes, it gets confusing sometimes).

I think God led me to this chapter because He knows that this is what I need to think about today...specifically about what it looks like for me to believe God and live out my faith like Abraham did. Even though I have so much more revelation than Abraham did (the entire Word of God at my fingertips!), sometimes I think that Abraham had a distinct advantage because God talked to him out loud and in a very specific way (although I probably do Abraham a grave injustice because he lived a godly life without the benefit of any kind of written revelation from God!). Abraham knew that the promise was for him to have a child, a son. No question about that, it just didn't happen when and how he thought it would.

At times, I wish God would speak to me like that...but it seems like God's promises for me are kind of, well, harder to figure out sometimes. I mean, it's not like God says "I promise that you will get the money you need to pay for your visas" or "Yes, I promise you will have the funding you need for your ministry" or "You will be able to go inhabit the land of Venezuela." (Although I have to admit that God did speak to me very clearly that Miguel was the man I was to marry, but that's another story...)

I have questions sometimes...is this or that verse really for me? Am I taking things out of context? Am I hearing God right? Is this just wishful thinking or really something God has for me? What happens if I believe God for something and it doesn't happen the way I believed so strongly for? We hear a lot about people getting "a word from God"...nothing against that because I know that God does speak to people, but how do I really know that was God speaking to me and not just my imagination or wishful thinking?

I have heard some people say that just because we believe, for example, that a certain person will be healed and we pray that way, that it's already done...the miracle happens just because we pray with belief. But what about the times when people do pray for healing and they aren't healed? Case in point, II Corinthians 12:1-10. God can and does heal, but I don't think that I can presume that He will in every case.

I think that one of the keys might be in verse 21..."Abraham was fully persuaded that God had the power to do what he had promised." I wonder if 'praying with belief' isn't so much the belief that God will do it, but that He can. Praying with belief, then, would be praying with the full persuasion that God can do anything He wants to; that God has the power to do what I ask. Taking into account, of course, that God's plan might be different than mine and I submit myself to His ways. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

So I was thinking this morning, what are some of the specific promises God has given to me, personally?

Philippians 4:6-7 came to mind..."Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

God's promise is peace when I present my prayers and petitions to God with thanksgiving.

There are more promises, I know, lots more...Matthew 6:25-34 is another favorite of mine. I think it would be good to ask God to lead me to them, and ask Him how He plans to use them in my life. Side-note...I've noticed that when one grows up in a Bible-rich environment like I have, the Word can become so common as to lose its meaning sometimes. I know a lot of verses and passages, but I think it would be a good idea to ask God to make them fresh and new and relevant all over again.

One thing this Believing God study has done is to challenge some of my wrong beliefs about God. Wrong beliefs about God make it hard to believe Him and take His promises to heart, so it is good to see these things coming to the surface so I can address them. For one thing, I'm realizing that I continue to struggle to feel deserving of God's blessings and His grace (darn, thought I had taken care of that!).

I tend to view God's grace as conditional on whether I am behaving in ways deserving of that grace...and while it's true that God does sometimes take us through hard times to teach us valuable lessons, God is not petty or vindictive or skimpy on the grace. I need to focus on the fact that God's grace is something I don't deserve and cannot earn. It abounds and is even more abundant in the face of my weakness.

I saw this quote posted on a friend's Facebook status today..."God is too wise to be mistaken. God is too good to be unkind. So when you don't understand, when you can't see His plan, when you can't trace His hand, trust His heart."

I like that, to know that I can trust His heart.

Odds and Ends

1) Well, first up today is that I've been battling with a kidney infection for about what, a month now? Maybe not that long, just seems like it! The week after the Family Retreat, I noticed that I seemed to be extra tired and sure enough, that Wednesday I realized I had a kidney infection. It hit me pretty hard because most likely, I'd been dealing with it for a few days and didn't realize it (the usual m.o. is that I don't exhibit many symptoms of bladder infections, so don't catch them very quickly). I first tried to take care of it by drinking lots of water, cranberry juice and pills, etc. but by the weekend began a treatment of antibiotics.

I didn't get better very quickly, though, and a week later had to switch to a stronger antibiotic. I have had some good days in there, but mostly it's just taking a LONG time to get over this thing. It's been discouraging as I've been barely keeping up with the house and the kids, much less things like writing on my blog! I had a good day yesterday, but am not feeling so good today, so I guess I am just going to have to take it easy and keep on top of it to avoid a relapse...

2) As well as the kidney infection, I am also experiencing horrible, horrible allergies!!!! And I don't usually even have allergies here in this drier climate! But it's rainy season, the flora and fauna are thriving and something is driving me nuts...and I'm so glad you can't see me with toilet paper stuck up both nostrils in an attempt to stem the flow...Miguel did and he laughed. Hmph, wish HE would get allergies once in a while...

3) I am so excited to be doing two different Bible studies this fall...on Wednesday mornings I go to the ladies' Bible study at our church (Spanish). This last month, the group invited a special speaker to give a workshop on the inductive Bible study method. He works with Kay Arthur's Precept Ministries International, so he provided us with a couple of books that we will be using in the weeks to come...first we're planning to go through the six lessons in Living a Life of True Worship and then begin Lord, I Want to Know You, which is a study of the names of God. I am looking forward to it!

**Side-note: During the workshop, we studied the book of Philemon and at the end, he challenged us to take Psalm 119 and study it using the inductive method...answering questions such as "What synonyms does the author use for the Word of God?" and "How does the author feel about the Word of God?" I've been doing that here at home in the last few days and it's a thought-provoking way to study the Word. For more information about Precepts Ministries, go here.**

Second Bible study will be with fellow missionary ladies (English). We will be doing another Beth Moore study, Believing God. I have the book in hand and can't wait to start! God has challenged and encouraged me tremendously through each Beth Moore study that I have done and I know this one will be no different!

4) Miguel and I continue to talk and pray through various aspects of our ministry... and it continues to be hard to do that! It's been interesting to note that while I generally tend to view conflict as strictly a negative thing, I'm learning that conflict can also bring growth and unity...if that makes any sense...it seems a bit backwards, but as we have made the effort to work through some of our differences of opinions and stuff, we've seen some progress in various areas even though at times it seems like we haven't really gotten anywhere. For which I PRAISE my God!

Future ministry options are still high on our list of things to discuss and while there may be a few changes in what Miguel's ministry looks like here in Mexico, we still do not have much leading as to beyond the next year or so. One of my favorite verses continues to come to mind whenever this weighs heavy on my mind...

Trust in the LORD

with all your heart,

and lean not

on your own understanding;

In all your ways

acknowlege Him,

and He will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV

So while I wouldn't say that we're discouraged, per se, we continue to wonder where God is leading and when we'll know what our next step is. In the meantime, we keep plugging away, doing what we can to serve where we are...

5) Jkaile is resisting all efforts at potty-training! Funny (well, not so funny, maybe) how one little kid's refusal to 'go' in the potty can cause so much tension! Definitely a power struggle there! Sigh...we'll just keep working on it! Potty-training is my least favorite stage of babyhood, I think...it does help to know that he will most likely be potty-trained by the time he goes to college...

For the Love of Jacob

I'm kinda glad that we're moving through our Beth Moore study (Patriarchs) so slowly...it's given me ample time to think about the lessons God is teaching me. Beth always packs so much into each study that I hate to be rushed, feeling as if I'm missing out on things.

I've been thinking a lot about one particular video session in the Patriarchs study; Session Six, titled For the Love of Jacob. This session was about Jacob's face-to-face encounter with God as he waited to face his brother, Esau, the next day. Beth says "when we dread facing something or someone, what we need most is to honestly face God."

Beth points out that included in Jacob's face-to-face encounter were:

1. An honest appraisal-we are who we really are when we are alone!
2. An honest fight-God taught Jacob how to face up and fight honestly...remember Jacob's tendency toward deceit and manipulation? God's goal in inviting or allowing us to fight/wrestle Him is to make us overcomers. "Even when God appears to be against us, He is for us."
3. An honest blessing-Jacob had deceived his earthly father to receive his earthly blessing; now he received an honest blessing from his heavenly father.
4. An honest name-the name "Jacob" meant 'deceiver' and 'cheater', but God replaced that name with "Israel". "When we struggle through the crisis with God all the way to the blessing, we are gloriously redefined." Rev. 2:17 "...To him who overcomes, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give him a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it."

There were so many things in this video that jumped out at me and of course, Beth puts them all together so much better than I do...

• How much do I resist being alone? And how do I feel when I'm alone?
• Psalm 3:3 "But you are a shield around me, Oh Lord; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head." When I am before my Lord, hanging my head in shame, he lifts up my head!
• Beth mentioned several strongholds that she struggles with: fear, shame, insecurity...I relate to that...
• What kind of a fighter am I? Did I grow up with "dirty" fighting in my family? Is it a pattern that needs to be broken?
• Having a stronghold of insecurity says "I've got to win this!" So it's "hurt-them-as-bad-as-we-can-as-soon-as-we-can" in order to win. That's fighting dirty.
• The true definition of a "win" is that at the end of the fight I am not all muddy from fighting dirty down on the ground.
• God wants to bless me. Sometimes He has to hurt me in order to get me to let Him bless me.
• "Sometimes in the dark of our night seasons, we don't know with whom we're struggling until the light begins to dawn."

I think I related so much to this teaching because on that particular day that we watched this video, I had had a time of wrestling with God. First alone, in the wee hours of the morning and then again as I talked through my struggle with a friend. I almost didn't even go to the study, but God be praised, I did.

An honest apraisal is that I am struggling with fear, an inability to trust God to take care of me no matter what decisions are made for my future. As Miguel and I sit down to discuss ministry plans and options, I can sometimes hardly even talk or pray about it, paralyzed with the fear of the unknown future. And that fear is not from God...God has not given me the spirit of fear, but of power and love and a sound mind. II Tim. 1:7 Yes, maybe my fear is understandable given the circumstances, but not justified...and certainly not glorifying to God.

But I think the foundations of that stronghold of fear in my life crumbled quite a bit that day as I wrestled with God...coming face-to-face with Him in the quiet of the early morning...hearing His truth spoken to me through a friend. I still struggle with it, but it's not as overwhelming as it was before. There are even times of strong, unwavering faith in God that weren't there before...but when those doubts begin creeping back, I remind myself that the truth of the matter is that whatever the future holds for me, for our family, I can be confident that God will be there, He will give me grace...His desire is that I overcome and be "gloriously redefined" as I abandon myself to Him. And He WILL take care of me every step of the way.

Beth Moore video

I found a video (well, a 'picture-video') from the Living Proof Live event in El Paso. I'd love to just put it here, but I'm not sure how to do that, so I'll post a LINK. Some of our ladies are in there, too!

Travis Cottrell sang the song playing in that video at the conference...I realized I'd forgotten to say anything about the worship team. I wasn't sure what to expect because I haven't really heard much from Travis' worship team. I am not a huge fan of a lot of the new styles of worship that include funky, jazzy music and/or lots of jumping up and down, yelling, etc. I have nothing against expressing oneself through worship as long as it doesn't distract others or detract from The One we are worshipping. Typically, our organization is on the conservative side of this issue. I am excited to note that I am becoming much more free to say, raise my hand in worship, and yet I want it to come from the heart, not because I got carried away in the emotions of the moment or because everyone else around me is doing it...does that make sense?

But I have to say that I was very pleased with Travis' worship team! I thought that they did a really fabulous job of directing worship to our Lord instead of attention towards themselves. The music was a nice mix of newer and older songs, hymns even. And In Christ Alone is my life's theme song right now, and we sang it both days! I like how they stick that On Christ the Solid Rock bridge in there, too. Yes, the music was loud (as in reverberating-in-the-chest loud), but I think that was due more to the fact that we were in the very front (not complaining about that! haha!)...it was really neat to see how the worship moved me towards God. During one of the songs I had a very strong desire to stand, but since nobody around me was, I felt a little hesitant. I finally peeked behind us and there were quite a few ladies standing in the rows behind us, so up I popped, too! :) I guess I'm getting more into that Latin style of standing for worship than I thought! LOL! And yes, I raised my hands...ahem, danced a little (w/o moving my feet too much-we were kinda squished in there...wouldn't want to poke anyone in the um, side...), and just sang my heart out.

A Few Photos...

Soup and Salad at the Olive Garden...

Waiting outside the Convention Center.

The view from where I sat.

A view of me sitting.

A view behind where I was sitting.

Beth praying for the conference...I was humbled

(I know, I should have had my eyes shut!).

Beth teaching...see the trash can?
Beth reviewing point #1 with Lisa, one of our group...

The trash can, now full of things that should be in the trash...

Throwing away my 'trash'.
Thought you might get a kick out of this one;

waiting for lunch at P.F. Changs.

Packing up the vans to come home...

hard to get all of our luggage and shopping

back in the vans! There were 14 of us...

Notes from Beth Moore

Brace yourselves for a LONG post! :) I tried to take a nap today, but it didn't last long...I just kept feeling very strongly that I needed to get these notes typed up (however 'rough' they are-I know I couldn't catch everything) and posted, emailed, printed, etc. And in saying that, if you would like a more printable copy, let me know and I will email it to you.

Before I begin, however, just let me say that the conference was pretty amazing! We were given the VIP treatment, as in free tickets and 3rd row seats!!! Beth sat not five feet in front of us during the worship times! It felt a little unreal at times...I will post pictures after the notes...anyway, the message of the conference was something that spoke intimately and deeply to each and every one of us that was there. And I think that God might have something in there for you, too! So happy reading!

Treasure in the Trash

Hebrews 10:23-25, 32-39 NIV

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess,

for he who promised is faithful.

And let us consider how we may spur one another on

toward love and good deeds.

Let us not give up meeting together,

as some are in the habit of doing,

but let us encourage one another—

and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Remember those earlier days after

you had received the light,

when you stood your ground in a

great contest in the face of suffering.

Sometimes you were publicly exposed

to insult and persecution;

at other times you stood side by side

with those who were so treated.

You sympathized with those in prison and

joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property,

because you knew that you yourselves

had better and lasting possessions.
So do not throw away your confidence;

it will be richly rewarded.

You need to persevere so that when

you have done the will of God,

you will receive what he has promised.

For in just a very little while,

"He who is coming will come and will not delay.

But my righteous one will live by faith.

And if he shrinks back,

I will not be pleased with him."

But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed,

but of those who believe and are saved.

Topic: Losing confidence and experiencing self-doubt

Do you suffer from a slow leak of confidence? 2 or 3 ounces at a time?
Where do I get the most affirmation?
Am I looking to someone else or my circumstances as my source of confidence?
No one can threw away my confidence except me!

Reconnect with God-given confidence
-feelings can be toxic and need to change
-time to “fire” the ones that I have allowed to become my mirror of confidence

Three ways to lose confidence
1. Can come from a “slow leak”-dribbling out over time
2. Can come from a “break”, sudden loss of confidence
3. Or you just never really had any in the first place
-brokenness-just seems not to hold the Holy Spirit
-this may be a stronghold of unbelief in God and His Word
Results are still the same-you have thrown away your confidence!

Don’t confuse Confidence with Pride or Lack of Self-Confidence with Humility!

If I don’t have confidence in God or His Word, I will not be able to fulfill God’s will for my life.


What we need is Humble Confidence

HUMBLE Apart from Me, you can do nothing. John 15:5

CONFIDENCE Through Me, you can do anything. Phil. 4:13

**Do not throw away your confidence, for which there is great reward!

Acts 4:13 “courage” Hebrews 10:35 “confidence” translated from the Hebrew

“parresia” which means “confidence with much courage”
-the people were astonished at their confidence with much courage and noted that they
had been with Jesus
God can take ordinary, unschooled people and turn them into brilliant and extraordinary

The enemy seeks to undermine my God-confidence
-we allow people and circumstances to steal our confidence and our identity
-the leading source of “identity theft” in America comes from “dumpster diving”
We need to claim back the things that are ours!
Sometimes we treat trash like treasures and treasures like trash.

Find your identity in Christ and use it with confidence.
Anyone set up as a false savior will devastate us eventually, even if it is someone that loves and cares for us

Digging my Treasures out of the Trash

1) Stop giving people power over us that only God should have
-you can love them and be committed to them without giving them power only
God should have
-relationships do not have to equal bondage

2) We are going to check the trash bin for some truth
-head and heart full of Scripture is what will keep me from throwing away my confidence
-Acts 4:13-15-having the kind of life that attracts others to Christ
-the truth of Scripture is meant to rock our world, not sit in our minds

3) Stop halting the work before some trash turns into treasure
-Don’t give up too soon just because the pain and suffering has been relieved
-God works every single little bit of “trash” in our lives into good if we persevere
-God can take the experience and make me a miracle, but if I shrink back, God will not
be pleased with me
-I will not be done with the process of trash turning to treasure until I have been
rewarded-DON’T STOP THE PROCESS
-Persevere in my area of gifting
-it might not come naturally or smoothly at first
-stir the gift into a flame-perfect it
-see it through to the reward
-Hebrews 12 We perform before witnesses
Who are the witnesses? Abraham, Moses, Isaac, Isaiah…
-You cannot serve God and remain a WIMP! Character is developed over time
-SADD=Spiritual ADD-we haven’t listened to God’s answer to a request before we put
in another one
-Our culture is mass-producing wimps and social wimps
-Don’t allow technology (email and social-networking sites) to replace personal
social relationships
-face-to-face relationships require change in me!
-important for my character and true transformation
-keep a circle of friends that will help in this area, esp. if you are single

4) Remember the victories that you and God have had together
-stand on those victories
-God and I have a history with each other!
-Am I going to quit now over some small obstacle when God has gotten me through
greater things before?
-God has been faithful to me

5) Show courage even before you feel courage
-"Stay alert, stand firm in the faith, show courage, be strong" I Cor. 16:13 NET
-courage and confidence are not necessarily synonymous
-confidence must always have courage
-we tend to repeat the same old response patterns
-Carnal Coping Skill-we all have a CCS in our human flesh and nature
-panic, binge, starve, drink, sleep, disconnect, self-gratification
-THAT is WIMPING OUT

The pattern goes like this:

Threatened --> Carnal Coping --> Failure --> Affirms Carnal Coping --> Leads us to Trash our Confidence, and then we become confident that we ARE trash! --> back to Carnal Coping…etc.

This pattern Destroys Confidence

The new pattern:

Threatened --> Do the God Thing-SHOW COURAGE --> Pray, Do the Courageous Thing --> Builds Confidence/Breaks Addictions -->SHOW COURAGE…etc.

This pattern Boosts Confidence

-Our children need to see us show courage; be an example for them
-God knows that it’s scary to be us
-He knows it can be brutal
-And yet He says, take confidence

6) Trash the self-condemnation
-I John 3:19-21 – confidence before God=no self-condemnation
-CONDEMNATION = ENEMY
-CONVICTION = GOD and leads to repentance
-self-loathing does not please God
-Come to a place of believing God’s truth MORE than I believe my emotions
-Heb. 4:16 I have a High Priest-confidence to go before the throne
-God will make it worth my while to persever
-Promise of Scripture = Reward
-if we persevere…even if we die persevering, we will die faithful
-the reward will come, in this life or our eternal reward
-be wary of people who make you feel like you have a weak will
-Heb. 10:23-25
-letter of Hebrews a Call to Community
-I Cor. 12-we NEED one another!
-we aren’t meant to overpower or be overpowered

7) Encourage and receive encouragement
-some people comfortable receiving, but not giving
-some people comfortable giving, but not receiving
-It helps build our confidence to accept an encouragement
-Encouragement is so different from flattery
-flattery focused on the “encourager”
-want to get something out of you, favor, reputation, etc.
-One reason we hesitate to encourage others is because we’re afraid to build up pride
in each other-but that's really between them and God
-In our culture, women will never be able to measure up
-we are looking to the media for our self-confidence. And it’s all a LIE.
-older generations didn’t have to deal with the assaults of visual media
-We are hurting!
-Take the chance that my encouragement will NOT build pride, but BOOST their
confidence enough to continue on one more day.
-Err on the side of encouragement!
-Heb. 10:24 “Consider how…” Perceive and discover individual needs in this area
-what will motivate different people to love and good works
-Joshua 1:8 Success before God
-“Meditation” What am I “consistently thinking about”?
-“stronghold” is anything that takes an obsessive stream of thought in my mind

8) Daily and deliberately believe God over every other influence
-Persevere in Scripture memory
-We need our Scripture in our brain
-choose verses for ME (not my spouse, children, etc), choose what I need.

Beth Moore and a Shopping Trip

A really, really quick post as it's about time for me to leave...a bunch of us ladies are heading off today for a weekend across the border! Beth Moore is in town and we'll be attending her conference tonight and tomorrow morning, then staying over until Sunday so we can do some shopping. :D All in all, a bit of pampering, wouldn't you say?

BUT, I'm concerned about Miguel and the kids because Jkaile, Jojo, and Miguel have been sick with a stomach flu this week...it is hard for me to leave! And it's not like I'd be able to just come home if things were to go "wrong". PTL that both boys seem to be getting better...Miguel took them to the dr. yesterday (Jojo just seems to have the flu, but Jkaile seems to have a bacterial infection also). I don't think that I've ever spent the night away from the kids before, or if I did, it was when Micah was a baby. Wow...

Anyway, I covet your prayers for all of us this weekend! It will be an adventure, that's for sure. I don't know if I'll have Internet this weekend, perhaps if one of the ladies takes a laptop I can get on and keep you posted. Otherwise, I will take lots of pictures and be back next week!

The Renewing of My Mind

I stayed home from church yesterday...for various reasons, I just wasn't up to going and I could tell that Jkaile wasn't feeling too well, either, since he is coming down with a cold. I kept him up for a little while thinking to delay his nap until the afternoon, but he became quite destructive...tearing up books and magazines, going around pulling everything off of shelves and onto the floor...the last straw was when he broke one of my coffee mugs (not my favorite, but still...) and spilled coffee all over himself, the floor, Miguel's books. My goodness. So off to bed he went and I began feeling a quiet urge to sit down for some time with God. So I pulled out my Patriarchs book to do another day of the study, we are on Week Three (yes, I know, a little behind the rest of you!). And God had something pretty meaningful there for me yesterday!

That particular part of the study was about the second time that Abraham lied about Sarah being his wife...this time King Abimelech took Sarah to be one of his wives (Genesis 20). God intervened once again, however, saving Sarah from committing adultery and in the process revealing Himself and His power to Abimelech and his people.

The first thing that stuck out to me is how God intervened twice on Sarah's behalf and held Abraham responsible for the whole situation. Scripture isn't really clear whether Sarah was going along with the scheme or whether she was just obeying Abraham. It is clear, however, that Abraham allowed Sarah to be put into a very compromising situation because of his own fear and that God stepped in to protect Sarah. It got me to thinking of how many times I balk at doing what Miguel wants to do, being unable to trust God with the outcome?

The second thing was that the study points out that Abraham seemed to have a "default" reaction whenever he felt threatened regarding Sarah and that was to lie and deceive-in this case, wilfull, premeditated sin (Gen. 20:13). What is my "default" when confronted with stressful circumstances-what is my pattern of handing crisis situations? I relate to this in several areas of my life...my responses under stress, my speech and responses to my kids and Miguel, my struggle with food, my thought life, dreams...like Beth says, repeated patterns of sin and foolish decisions that cause pain and self-contempt...

In her own life, God showed her that freedom would only come through the renewing of her mind.

1Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God's mercy,

to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—

this is your spiritual act of worship.

2Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world,

but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.

Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—

his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Romans 12:1-2 NIV

3For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.

4The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world.

On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.

5We demolish arguments and every pretension

that sets itself up against the knowledge of God,

and we take captive every thought

to make it obedient to Christ.

II Cor. 10:3-5 NIV

23to be made new in the attitude of your minds;

Ephesians 4:23 NIV

Beth decided to ask God to not only renew her conscious mind, but her subconscious mind as well...including her dream life and thought life while she slept. She continues to ask God to place His truth deep inside, even in the places of her mind that she doesn't even know exist!

Later, Beth says she discovered the Greek word, "horme", which refers to impulses, urges, a forceful movement towards something, a sudden thought, whim, or dictating inclination. So then she began including that in her prayer as well, asking God to make even her reactions and sudden impulses godly!

Like Beth, I ask, what would it look like if I began attentively and repeatedly praying for the Holy Spirit to invade and renew me so richly and so deeply that even my impulses are godly? That even my "default" response is sanctified?

On Fear

I always jump at the chance to do a Beth Moore study, so I was pleased to hear that some of the ladies here were going to do the Patriarchs study this year. We started late, so are just now starting on week two. Last Thursday, we watched the video for Session One and as usual, Beth speaks to me...or rather God speaks to me through Beth!

The title for week one is Leave Your Country, rather appropriate for missionary ladies, don't you think? The point that stuck out to me was on fear. As God speaks to Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, Joshua (and others), He tells them "do not fear" (Gen. 15:2, 26:24, 46:3, Joshua 1:9). Beth points out that "God does not tell people who are not afraid to NOT be afraid"! Point #2 in the video notes states: Those God uses greatly seem to greatly battle fear. Therefore, we may battle fear but we must not let it win.

Beth mentioned that she herself had a stronghold of fear and having been released from that stronghold. I relate to having a stronghold of fear. Just because I have committed to spending my life in full-time ministry doesn't mean that I have no fears about it...I fear death (either mine, Miguel's, or my children, or loved ones), suffering, hardship, conflict, sickness, other people's opinions, making a fool of myself...and on and on...so I wonder, do I have a stronghold of fear? I don't know, but I have sensed God working to free me from the grip of fear. I think, though, that I tend to view the presence of fear as evidence of a lack of trust and faith...it was very reassuring to know that experiencing fear is normal (I'm in good company there with the patriarchs!) and that what matters are the choices I make in the face of fear...do I allow myself to be paralyzed by my fears or step out in faith to believe God and have it be credited to me for righteousness? I pray that God will make my faith my testimony...that I believed God!

Encouragement...

Recently I have been checking out Beth Moore's blog, The LPM blog. I like the way that Beth talks on my level and how she can relate to us regular people even with all the success that she has had in her ministry. The last couple of paragraphs from her most recent post really encouraged and lifted me up today! I hope it's okay to post these words here because I wanted to pass them on to someone else who might need some encouragement as well...


"And yet there you are. Doing the thing. And doing it faithfully. Getting down on your knees at some point every day. Reading the Scriptures. Asking God to help you know Him. Living it out in your homes (is there any harder charge?) and in your work place and communities and finding yourselves wounded and wondering from time-to-time if God knows you’re alive. There is no such thing as serving in obscurity when you belong to Jesus. He is attentive to your labor. He is attentive to your CRY. IT MATTERS. Sweet Thing, there is no one on Earth God notices more than you. He knows that the atmosphere He’s entrusted to you is not the easiest place on the planet to serve and, yet, day in and day out He sees you doing the thing. He knew you would. That’s why you’re there. He didn’t bother entrusting it to a light-weight. He knows you may go weeks between true soul-encouragements. Thank goodness we have the example of the man after God’s own heart, who, in 1 Samuel 30:6, was surrounded by bitter people who couldn’t see past their own problems to regard how he’d tried to help them. There, we’re told that David encouraged himself in the Lord. Yep, you can do that. When not one single soul bothers to encourage you, you can just go right to the Lord and encourage yourself. How ‘bout that? Speak to your own insides and say, “Why so downcast, oh, my soul? Why so disturbed within me. Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God!” As alone as you may feel, every time you praise Him, some ten-thousand angels jump in the chorus with you and your song becomes a symphony.Stay faithful, Darling One. STAY FAITHFUL! Every ounce of your effort and every drop of sacrifice are poured like anointing oil on the feet of Jesus. “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you.” Psalm 32:8"