Monday, July 28, 2008

Micah's glasses


As it turns out, Micah needs glasses, too! I was really hoping that he wouldn't but oh well...Miguel and Micah picked out some pretty cool sport goggle type glasses (not what I would have chosen for him, but probably good for active boys!).

Getting motivated

It's 10:30 a.m. and I find myself avoiding everything that I SHOULD be doing and hanging out at the computer...guess I'm having trouble getting motivated! For one thing, I have a headache, which is my own fault for eating pizza and breadsticks on Saturday (I am allergic to yeast and cheese, but pizza is VERY hard to resist!). Both Miguel and I were very tired last night to begin with and then Micah threw up around midnight...my hero Miguel cleaned it all up and we were just getting settled back into bed when I heard the unmistakable sounds of diaper-filling from Jkaile's bed. sigh. I waited a little while until I thought he was finished, got up and changed his diaper and took him back to bed to nurse. I got him back to bed around 1 a.m. and was just nodding off again when I heard some more diaper sounds! double sigh. So I got him back up, changed his diaper and decided to put him back to bed without the nursing, since that might stimulate more diaper filling (it's a vicious cycle!)...and yep, there he went AGAIN!!! triple sigh. One more diaper change and then back to bed, much to his great displeasure...but he did eventually get back to sleep.

I had a hard time going to sleep at that point and I noticed Miguel doing his share of tossing and turning, too! Both of us were thinking about Miguel's appointment with INS (now USCIS) this morning to try to straighten out a complication on his application for naturalization...long story, but we've had a lot of snags and long waits, so we really don't want to mess anything up with that! I will post an update on that when Miguel gets home...I am really on pins and needles waiting for him to get home to find out what happened!!!! Anyway, I remember Miguel putting Jkaile in bed with me around 6 a.m. before he left and then the next thing I knew, it was 9 a.m.!!! Guess both of us were tired! :)

I am feeling very much overwhelmed with the giant list facing me and am much in need of a plan...I think I need to implement the 15 minute work plan that Flylady recommends. Set the timer for 15 minutes and work on just ONE thing until the timer goes off and then take a 5 minute break. If you do three 15 minute work sessions, you can focus better and get a lot done in just one hour. I can't handle everything I have to do this week right now, but I can handle 15 minutes of work at a time. :) Especially with a 5 minute coffee-break in there! Ha!

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Emily

I am at my sister's Elizabeth's house in Springfield, MO for a quick overnight visit...this will be the last visit before we leave for Mexico and we wanted to get the kids together one last time. We celebrated Jacob's birthday yesterday with a water balloon party...it took Liz and I 2 hours to fill all those balloons with water and the kids about 2 minutes to destroy every single one! :) But they had a great time, so it was worth it. I am having a pretty good time except that I felt very sick yesterday; I even threw up once before I left (could I possibly be preg..don't even want to SAY that word!!). And then Jojo started having a headache and fever...probably from the vaccines he got this week, so that's been stressful.

Anyway, I noticed that Liz has four boxes of family photos here, so I started looking through them with the kids, showing them pictures from when I was little. That was fun and sure did bring back a ton of memories...and the kids enjoyed guessing which little blondie was Mommy...yes, I started life out as a blonde! :) I showed them pictures of the Macu people and how we lived at the Lake...and then I spotted the section named "Emily". I didn't really want to pull those pictures out, but I did. I knew it would be emotional...and it was. Let me tell you about Emily.

Emily was a little Macu girl, about 16 months old that we took care of for a few months one summer while I was home. Emily wasn't her real name, of course, that's just what we called her since it was a lot easier to remember! She may not have even had a name yet...I really can't remember. Anyway, she and her older sister were orphans and lived with an aunt and uncle. But orphans are pretty low priorities for Macu families since it's such a struggle to feed their own children and Emily had gotten pretty sick and thin. The family clan had been at the mission base for a while and my parents suspected that they might abandon her when they left. A few hours after we knew the family had gone, my sister Liz and I went down to the empty camp to check and sure enough, there was Emily sitting there all by herself in the dirt. When she saw me, she started to cry and lifted her arms for me to pick her up. I think my heart broke at that point and I already knew that I loved her. I took her home and I fed her and gave her a much needed bath. Since it was a very busy time for my parents, I took care of her during the day and slept with her at night so that my Mom wouldn't get so tired. Emily was a very serious little girl those first few days, especially when it came to food...for two or three weeks, she wasn't content unless she had a cracker clutched in both hands.

As we fattened her up a bit and she knew food was no longer an issue, she really blossomed. She began to play and even to smile. Emily turned into one of the sweetest babies I had ever seen! Her smile was beautiful and her laugh contagious. It was hard not to love her (even when she pooped and peed on the floor 17 times one day!!!).

Then it came time for me to fly back out to the mission school. If I had had the choice, I think I would have tried to find a way to keep Emily, but it just wasn't possible. She cried when I left and my heart broke all over again. I think I tried not to think about her to avoid the pain. My Mom told me later that when her family came back and saw her in such good health, they wanted her back. And that once again Emily became weak and then sick and that she later died.

I really hate the ending to this story! I wish it could have been different. Emily has a very special place in my heart and I find myself thinking of her often, especially when I come across pictures of giving Emily a bath, Emily and I swinging in the hammock, Liz and Emily giggling together...Emily gave me my first taste of what having my own children would be like...the powerful love and emotional connection...and the pain that comes with losing someone I love. Sometimes I wonder if I will see her again, romping in Heaven. I truly hope so!

Thursday, July 10, 2008

a visit to the eye-doctor



Isn't that just the sweetest thing you ever saw?! That's my girl! :) We had a family visit to the eye doctor yesterday...well, we forgot and let Micah go on a sleepover so he wasn't there, but we'll get his eyes checked next week...anyway, it turns out that Gracia needs glasses! She has inherited my astigmatism...sigh. But she thinks it's wonderful to wear glasses and had a blast trying on different pairs! We finally settled on this little purple pair, they are very cute, but I'm wondering how long it will be before the excitement wears off....



Jojo's eyes are fine, but he thought he should get some glasses, too! So he ran over and tried on this pair, that actually don't look that bad! haha...drama king there...


And this is an extra...since we're on the topic of glasses...this is Jkaile with my glasses on. I love that cheeky look on his face! He looks so proud of himself about something! :)




Things are coming together...

My feelings about being 3 weeks away from heading back to the mission field...Wow! Anxiety! Excitement! Apprehension! Anticipation! AAAACCCCKKKK!

yeah

Can you tell I have mixed emotions?! On the one hand, I'm very excited about a new ministry, a new place to live, seeing all of our friends in Mexico again, getting back into full-time missions...on the other, I crave a more simple, stress-free life, I will miss all of my friends here (and I know my kids will miss their friends, too!), I know that there will be plenty of challenges, busyness being one of them...am I ready for all of this?! I am so glad that my sister Chrissy called from Ecuador yesterday (that was a God thing, for sure!) because she was able to impart great wisdom to me (they've been through 2 major ministry shifts recently!). She said that changing to a different field of service can bring up a lot of different emotions, a lot of them negative. She reminded me, however, that feelings are subjective and not necessarily the truth of the situation, so it's good to consciously focus on the positive, the good things and the truth. And this will help the kids transition better as well.

And this will be a huge transition for our family, mostly the fact that Micah and Gracia will be in school and not be homeschooled...we are not used to getting up early and going somewhere every day! I'm sure, though, that once we get into the swing of things, there will be much to appreciate...such as mornings with only 2 kids, being able to give more attention to Jojo and Jkaile, not having the extra work of homeschooling, structure for our family...lots of positives! :)

I sorted through all the kids' clothes today, weeding out the extras, packing their school and winter clothes. I feel like I have accomplished something! I have such a long list of things to do that it's overwhelming and it feels really good to get that done. Maybe that will motivate me to keep chipping away at the list little by little...I really hate that feeling of having so many things to do hovering over my head!

But in general, things are really starting to come together...not only do we have a house waiting for us when we get to Mexico, but they have nearly furnished it for us as well! Thank you, Lord! Our monthly support, while not exactly at the level we'd like to see, is coming along (I'm SO proud of Miguel for working so hard on that!) and we have the money we need for traveling and initial set-up expenses. The kids are enrolled in school and we have the school supply list in hand. It's neat to see how things are working out...they always do so I don't know why I bother to stress....

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Micah


Micah and I had a very interesting conversation this morning! I had him help me make breakfast since he's learning how to cook, so he cut up the hot dogs for the scrambled eggs and then cooked the eggs and toasted the biscuits. I guess working together gives great opportunities to talk about stuff!

So Micah says, Hey, Mom, there is one good thing about having a friend who is a tomboy (he's been learning what that means since Mom was quite the tomboy in her time...). He said, it's because then a boy doesn't have to do all that "girl stuff"! :) Micah said that a boy who does girl stuff is a "sissy". That boy sissies get made fun of by other boys. And that was a great time to talk about how God made boys and girls to be different and what roles each should play, especially in marriage...because it would follow that sometimes boy sissies grow up to be man sissies and then they might marry a wife that's too bossy and tells him what to do all the time. :o Micah didn't think that was a good idea, because he's been taught that Papi is the boss, then Mommy, and then the kids, with God having the final authority over all of us.

Once again, a good time for me to examine myself...am I being a good example of a godly wife to my children? Am I teaching them to honor and reverence their father? Am I encouraging them to submit to Miguel's authority so that they can learn to submit to God's authority? Good questions...

Gracia


Gracia has been really needy lately! And I don't always respond so well to neediness in people...something I think I need to work on, especially in regards to my children.

Gracia has been asking me if I can "sleep with her" but since her bed is currently in a closet, that's kind of hard for me to do! Or she wants to sleep with Miguel and I in our bed, which doesn't work too well, either. I think I finally realized that what she wants is just some more attention from Mom. Miguel usually puts the kids to bed, so for the last few nights, I've gone in to tuck Gracia and Jojo into bed to give them just a bit more attention at bedtime.

So a couple of nights ago I was laying on the floor by Gracia's bed and she said that she wished she were still a baby. Oh? Why? I said. She said that then she could nurse on me...I asked her if maybe it was because she wanted Mama to hold her more and she said yes, that was it (I didn't think that she actually wanted to nurse!). Then she said that she wanted Mama to hold her, rock her to sleep, and then put her in her bed after she was asleep. So we got up, went to the rocking chair and I rocked her in my arms. After a while, she lifted up her head and said, I'm not going to sleep! :) So I sang her a lullaby and then I put her back to bed and that was enough.

Last night, we had a conversation about when Gracia was still in Mommy's tummy and I could feel her jumping around. Gracia is convinced that babies come out of their mommy's tummy through the belly button, but has questions about how that works since obviously belly buttons are too small! :) It was an interesting conversation...

I have been actively including Gracia more in my daily chores and cooking, she seems to need more of my time and attention than the boys do...or maybe it's that she needs a different kind of attention? Now that she's five, she is old enough to understand some deeper concepts, even to begin learning how to grow up to be a godly woman. It has made me examine myself even more to see whether I'm being a good example of a godly wife and mother for my little girl!

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Words of Encouragement for Weary Parents

"Jojo called me stupid!" Gracia said as she came crying to the office where I was trying to work on the computer. I sighed as I stopped what I was doing yet AGAIN to deal with the squabbling kids. Frankly, I get really TIRED of the tattling, squabbling, fighting, bugging, and provoking that goes on between them. And with three kids of squabbling age around (Jkaile's still a bit young to join in, but the day is coming!!!), there is bound to be a LOT of tattling going on.

Ironically, I was logging on to Focus on the Family's website and happened to click on the Parenting link. Lo and behold, there were a couple of articles on tattling! So here's what I have learned today:

I learned that I usually don't deal correctly with tattling because either I am not sure WHAT to do or I end up rewarding the tattler by getting the "offender" in trouble. I vaguely realize that I may not be dealing with the situation correctly, but I have had trouble knowing how to approach the situation.

Tattling is usually motivated by one sibling taking pleasure in getting the other in trouble, which can cause problems for that relationship as well as disrupt the entire household (in our house, this has certainly been the case!).

Parents can address the tattling situation and encourage peace by taking the following steps:
1. Help the tattler understand his/her motivation
2. Help the tattler understand the damaging effects of the tattling
3. Help the tattler replace tale-bearing with encouragement
4. Teach the tattler to practice what he/she has learned

Helping the tattler to understand the motives behind the tale-bearing by asking thought-provoking questions will take the focus off of the wrong that someone else has done and place it on their own motives. And by helping our kids think through their motives, we will be helping them learn how to make good decisions.

"Could it be that you are taking pleasure in getting your brother in trouble?"
"What are you hoping will happen to your brother by getting him in trouble?"
"How do you think your brother/sister feels when you tattle on them?"
"Will tattling bring you closer to your brother/sister or tear you apart?"

Sometimes there ARE good reasons for tattling, such as if a sibling is not listening to another child's encouragement to do the right thing, if a child is endangering themselves or someone else, or if a child is causing damage to toys or other property.

Then, it's good to replace wrong behavior for right...
"Rather than tattling, what could you have said to encourage your brother/sister?"
"How do you think it makes your brother/sister feel when you encourage them instead of trying to get them in trouble?"

A good way to teach children is by role-play...I know this, but I don't always remember to actually put it in action! It's good to immediately take the children back to the original situation and then walk them through how they COULD have acted in a loving way and avoided the tattling. It's good to make the original "offender" pay attention to the encouragement and thank their brother/sister for caring enough about them to talk to them.

Okay, GREAT ADVICE but here's the problem...this takes a LOT OF WORK! To do this means that I continually have to stop what I'm doing, get down on their level, and work it through with them. I know that it's what I need to do, but I find that I get really tired of the daily struggle for consistency in teaching and discipline. It's easier to just let something slide than to deal with it right away. It's hard to keep the long-range parenting goals in mind and remember the steps I need to take daily to get there. So I thought it was really neat that at the end of the article on tattling, the author included this verse:

Galatians 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good,
for at the proper time we will
reap a harvest if we do not give up.
I am so thankful that God led me to this article today! I needed some words of encouragement and I'm happy to say that my kids are now playing together rather nicely! I know that won't always be the case, but it's nice for now! :) And I pray that God will give me the wisdom and patience that I need to consistently teach my kids.
BTW: I found this article on the Focus on the Family website and it was written by Ginger Plowman, author and found of Preparing the Way Ministries which focuses on biblical parenting. Her website is www.gingerplowman.com.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Surprise food


Miguel has been volunteering a bit of his time at a food warehouse that supplies ministries in this region and has really enjoyed it. And he usually brings home quite a bit of household groceries and supplies, which has been a blessing to our budget in the last few weeks. One of the things he's brought home has been unlabeled canned goods...what our kids have termed "surprise food". :) It's been interesting because they get pretty excited about it! They pick a can, then we open it and eat whatever it is (for the most part they've been lucky with carrots and not something like spinach! haha)...and they have been pretty good about eating a pretty big serving! Even Gracia, who's a rather sparse eater most days....

Taking Water For Granted

There was a small notice hanging on our door this morning that the city will be shutting off our water from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. today for repairs. My first reaction was a bit of outrage and then I realized that I have been Taking Water For Granted! We live in such a great country here in the U.S. where most people never even think about the basic utilities because they are so reliable! In Venezuela, the water, electricity, phone service, etc. would just randomly come and go with no warning...it's just a way of life. We always kept a barrel of water and candles on hand for those times since unlike today, there is usually no warning that the services will not be available. In fact, many houses in Venezuela are built with reservoirs and tanks to store water. One house we lived in didn't even receive water from the city any more, I think the pipes were damaged beyond repair. We had water trucked in every week to fill our reservoir. One time Miguel forgot to call the truck and then he couldn't get the truck to come at all for a few days! He even went out looking for any water truck he could find, but no luck. We were down to the last tiny bit of water when we were finally able to fill our reservoir, but by then we were getting rather rank from not being able to bathe!

Anyway, so after my initial reaction this morning, I looked around to see what I could do to keep a good water supply for today...there are no reservoirs in this house! I got creative...I filled both tubs about half-way with water for toilet flushing and filled every empty pitcher, jar, and container in the kitchen with water for drinking water or whatever. I think I'm getting spoiled with all of this luxury here and I need to start shifting back into "missionary mode" as we look forward to going back to the field later this year!