Living in Mystery

mys·tery

1 a religious truth that one can know only by revelation and cannot fully understand 2 something not understood or beyond understanding: enigma 3 profound, inexplicable, or secretive quality or character

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I do not want you to be ignorant of this mystery, brothers... Romans 11:25

And he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ... Ephesians 1:9

...the mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and generations, but is now disclosed to the saints. Colossians 1:26

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A book* I recently finished pointed out that the apostle Paul uses the word mystery about 21 times to refer to the hidden purposes of God...that is, that God doesn't always explain the 'whys' to some of life's problems. And that is a mystery to us!

Sometimes God clears up the mystery quickly, in a matter of hours or days...but then other times, mystery can last for years as we wonder what purposes God has for certain situations and/or problems in our lives.

"When walking in a fog the normal clues that orient us are gone. We look for some sign to show us the way, but none appear. Heaven seems silent. We search for meaning in life, but the fog hides it. We plead, "God, why don't you do something?" Our feelings tell us that God must be somewhere else or he doesn't care. The mind, grounded in the Scripture, fires back, "Not true." God has promised to never, not ever, leave us. And so the feelings and the mind thrash about, each submitting evidence for its position.

Sooner or later, often later, the fog slowly lifts. Things begin to make sense. Understanding replaces confusion. Confidence replaces doubt. Belonging replaces a sense of abandonment. Hope returns. God was there all along, working actively, not only on your behalf but in ways that enrich the many other servants he loves. The fog obscures his presence and his purposes, but when it finally clears, we realize that God has kept all his promises to us (see Josh. 21:45). And on those occasions when his people go to the grave with pieces of their past still shrouded in fog, he remains the loving, faithful God worthy of their trust even though the fog never lifted. While not desired, walking in mystery shouldn't be feared; God, though not visible or audible, walks by our side, and the walk is always worthwhile for the patient, faithful servant."

Duane Elmer in Cross-Cultural Servanthood-Serving the World in Christlike Humility, pg 185

It was so encouraging to me to read these words as I considered the mystery that Miguel and I are living with now in regards to our ministry. All we've ever wanted to do was work in tribal ministry in Venezuela...and yet eight months after we arrived in Venezuela back in 2005, the government there basically shut down tribal missions as we knew it and greatly limited tribal ministry opportunities for us. After an exhausting couple of years in limbo, many moves, and attempting to minister to the Yuana people from a near-by town, we returned to the U.S. for a family reunion and for the birth of our fourth child. Once stateside, I quickly realized that I was not in good shape to return to our ministry in Venezuela, or to any ministry, for that matter. I needed time to recuperate my strength, recover from the stress of our time in Venezuela and the depression that plagued me, and work on some weak areas of my life. Miguel and I also needed to work on our marriage, which had been severely strained during that time. God worked tremendously in our lives during that time and I'm ever so grateful for it.

After taking nearly a year and a half of combination medical leave/transition time, we arrived in Mexico to 'get back to work', although not in the ministry of our choice and not really knowing how long we would be here. We would love to return to work in Venezuela, when and if the political situation changes there, but so far that hasn't happened. As we begin our second year of ministry here in Mexico, we have had renewed discussions about ministry once again that haven't always gone as smoothly as we'd hoped. It's hard to live in mystery, not really knowing why we are here instead of there, how long we will be in mystery, and what the purpose is behind all that's happened in Venezuela. We grieve as we remember our Yuana brothers and sisters in Christ that we left behind, even though we knew them but a short time. We grieve the loss of what could have been an exciting, fulfilling ministry among the Yuana and it is so hard to understand why things happened the way they did. It's hard to understand why God would allow me to go through such a difficult time personally in the last few years...although at times I do catch glimpses the work God is doing as He strengthens me in His truth and love through the struggles.

I don't know when this mystery will be revealed or when the fog will lift...I long for the day when we know what our ministry will be and can finally move forward with a purpose and a plan. I think both Miguel and I long for things to make sense and for a true sense of belonging. In the meantime, however, it is reassuring to hear that walking in mystery is not something to be feared and that the walk with God at my side will be worthwhile as I remain His patient, faithful servant.

*Cross-Cultural Servanthood by Duane Elmer...I am also looking forward to reading the companion books of Cross-Cultural Conflict and Cross-Cultural Connections.

Flying Solo

Well, Miguel is off 'gallivanting' around Venezuela while I stay home and 'hold down the fort'. It's not my favorite thing, to be left at home, but honestly I'd rather be doing that than actually traveling with Miguel! I still feel like I haven't recovered my energy and stamina after moving and traveling so much during the last few years and I'm quite happy to stay home this time, thank you.

But when Miguel is gone, it becomes really obvious to me how much he does for me around the house and with the kids! A case of absence makes the heart grow fonder?! :) He often washes dishes...he sweeps the kitchen/dining room/living room (all sort of one big area) several times a day...he helps me with the never-ending task of laundry...and he helps corral the kids...and MORE! I really can't complain that he is not involved in our lives! So, here I am, missing him; flying solo while waiting for his return...which is scheduled for July 5th. Not really that far off, but seems like a long time to me!

His purpose in going to Venezuela is to visit family/friends and deal with his bank account there. While the account isn't exactly frozen, he is not being allowed to do anything with the money in it except in person. Kinda hard to accomplish when one does not actually live there! But it's a good time for him to travel and he's excited that he will be able to see his entire family and bring his Mom, Delia, and little brother, José David (now 16), back for a visit (Lord willing!).

The plan at this point is for Delia to stay with us for about a month, but to try to keep José David with us long-term, if it is possible paperwork-wise, etc. JD, as we like to call him, lived with us for a year there in Venezuela when he was younger and we see him as being a part of our family. Because of the circumstances at that time, it wasn't possible for us to take him back to the U.S. with us, but now that Miguel has his U.S. citizenship, he can apply for JD's U.S. paperwork...all very exciting stuff! :D

There will be significant challenges for both us and him as we adjust to adding another member to the family and having a teenager in the house (suggestions, anyone?!). JD will also need to adjust to different ways of doing things, our expectations and boundaries are quite different than what he's been used to! And he will need to brush up on his English, although he already does well, he's not been using it on a daily basis like he will here.

José David

The biggest challenge for me while Miguel is gone is caring for the kids...seems like things can go from calm to chaotic in a heartbeat! :( We got out of our routine there for a couple of days and it seems like everyone's behavior has gotten a bit out of control as well...so I've been working to "reclaim the house" (as a friend put it so aptly) and hopefully by tomorrow, things will be going much more smoothly. Next week is VBS at our church, which will help us pass the time as well...

And you'd think after having other kids, I'd remember how challenging it is to have a two year old! Well, almost two, his birthday is coming up next month...but no, I seem to have forgotten...Jkaile oh so cheerfully goes from making one disaster to another, getting into the cabinets, my make-up, unrolling toilet paper, flinging toys here and there, breaking things, playing in the toilet (and using a cup to pour toilet water around the bathroom!)...this last week, he discovered how to carry the stool around to different places and reach the unreachable...just look at the expression on his face when I caught him at the counter this time!

Odds and Ends

Check out this post for a few pictures of what I did yesterday evening with my friend Carrie! It was fun...in spite of having to drive in some pretty crazy traffic. Apparently I'm adjusting to driving like a local because I did some pretty interesting manouvers...LOL! I haven't been able to get out of the house much lately, so I really did enjoy our time.

This morning Miguel found a half-grown parakeet fluttering around in the yard and saved it from getting eaten by our black lab, Cora! We don't know where it came from because it can barely fly, but we put it in the cage with our other two parakeets where it promptly parked itself in the food container and ate for a looooong time...poor thing. Seems to be adjusting well to his new home, though...

Shilo over at My Place of Peace and her family arrived in Paraguay today after a very long trip including an unplanned overnight layover in Brazil. I am excited for them as they move into their new house and begin their new ministry at the MK school there in Paraguay!

In other news, Miguel is finalizing the plans for his upcoming trip to Venezuela! He is planning to fly to Venezuela on June 24th and return on July 4th...he would have liked to stay longer, but he doesn't want to leave me here with the kids alone for very long, bless him! :D It wasn't possible $-wise for the whole family to go this year, but maybe another time. The plan is to bring his mom and little brother for a visit. Delia (my MIL) will be returning to Venezuela in August, but we're hoping that it will work out for José David (little brother, age 16) to stay and live with us. Now that Miguel is a U.S. citizen, he can apply for JD's U.S. paperwork so that he can truly become part of our family and travel with us wherever we go. We are really looking forward to their visit...none of Miguel's family has met Jkaile yet!

Recently, Micah was moved to make a donation to this ministry in Paraguay so that five year old Rodrigo could get a soccer ball...we were happy to advance Micah this money because we're so proud that he would show this kind of compassion and generosity. He had originally wanted to just give Rodrigo one of our soccer balls, but it's kind of hard to get it from here to there, thus the donation route...anyway, so Micah has been working to earn money to pay us back. This morning he is "babysitting" Jkaile for me...and sure enough, there was even a poopy diaper to change! :o LOL!

A Walk in the Park

Like I said in the previous post, I've been battling for a couple of weeks with sickness...mainly upper respiratory junk like laryngitis, asthma-type cough, ear infection, etc...actually, Gracia and Jkaile have, too. Seems like our whole family is under attack health-wise these days! Anyway, we ended up needing to see the otorrinolaringólogo (ear/nose/throat doctor) over Easter weekend--what a bad time to be sick! Jkaile's eardrum had burst the night before and mine was still draining from having burst the Tuesday before. But every cloud has a silver lining, right? After the doctor visit, we (well, minus Gracia who was at a friend's house) took a walk in the park just down the street and took time to relax just a bit and enjoy the GREEN grass...

A historic building right across the street from the dr's office.

The arch over the entrance to the park...says 1898 on the top.

The guys in front of a statue of Simon Bolivar

given to the city of Chihuahua by Venezuela

a long time ago (sorry, don't remember the date!).

If you look closely, you can see the man

sleeping in the park behind Micah...the boys

thought that maybe he was dead, but

hopefully he was just taking a nap!

Sampling some mulberries.

Micah trying to do a pull-up...don't think he was successful!

Jojo hanging around.

Jkaile loves to be outside!

The bouganvilla is beautiful this time of year!

No words needed...

Got a picture this time!

Company again last night...a great excuse to have one of our favorite Venezuelan meals! Same menu as the other night and we're doing better at keeping batteries in the camera...so here you are:

arepa con carne mechada, queso, ensalada de papa y zanahoria con betabel (remolacha), y tajadas

(arepa with shredded beef, cheese, potato/carrot salad with beets, and fried plantains)

close up of the arepa

Recipes to follow soon!

Making Coffee

Last year, while on 'home assignment' a generous lady at our church gave me a Gevalia coffeemaker. It's really nice and I like the fact that's it's programmable (is that a word?). We have been enjoying it very much and even brought it with us to Mexico. And then, one morning last week...it wouldn't work. It had worked the day before, so we're not sure what happened! In doing some research, I found out that these are $100 coffeemakers, not really the amount of money we'd be willing to spend on a replacement. And for costing that much, you'd think it would have lasted a little longer!

In reviewing my options, I could do one of the following:

1. Quit drinking coffee...yeah, right!

2. Drink instant coffee...no, I don't think so...although I do like a good Venezuelan 'café con leche' with instant Nescafé once in a while (heat a mug of milk, add a tsp. of Nescafé and sugar to taste)

3. Get the coffeemaker fixed...hmmm, definitely a possibility considering that they fix anything and everything down here!

4. Get a new one (Gevalia is offering a free coffeemaker with the purchase of 2 half-pounds of coffee!)

5. Switch to using a different kind of coffeemaker, like a french press...I've been thinking about that for a while

OR, I could just keep doing what I'm doing now, which is pouring hot water through the filter and coffee grounds in the coffeemaker and putting it into a thermos to keep it hot....very similar to how I used to make the coffee...I remember when we first arrived in Venezuela, a coffeemaker was very high on my list of things to buy...I couldn't imagine how I could live without one! Miguel apparently had other priorities and the days went by and no coffeemaker. Another missionary lady helped me out, however, by giving me what reminded me of a small fishnet, only the net part was a white cloth. I wasn't what to do with it, but then my sister showed me that it was a "coffeemaker" in itself and how most Venezuelans make coffee...heating water and pouring it through the net with the coffee grounds in it. I found out later that they even have coffee 'stations' complete with a ring for the net, hooks for the mugs, sugar bowl, and coffee pitcher. At first, I thought it to be rather "primitive" and inconvenient, but gradually I found myself getting used to it and then even preferring the taste of coffee made that way!

Nearly three years later, I was still making the coffee with the net every morning, well I'm sure I'd had to buy a new one by then-and they were definitely cheaper than an electric coffeemaker! It just goes to show that some things I think are so important may not be! And that there are many different ways of making coffee...I found out later about french-press coffee brewers, expresso makers, and other interesting ways of making coffee found all around the world. Which is why I didn't freak when this coffeemaker quit working on me...perhaps I've learned my lesson? As related to coffee, anyway!

I would be interested in hearing how you make your coffee!

Taking Water For Granted

There was a small notice hanging on our door this morning that the city will be shutting off our water from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. today for repairs. My first reaction was a bit of outrage and then I realized that I have been Taking Water For Granted! We live in such a great country here in the U.S. where most people never even think about the basic utilities because they are so reliable! In Venezuela, the water, electricity, phone service, etc. would just randomly come and go with no warning...it's just a way of life. We always kept a barrel of water and candles on hand for those times since unlike today, there is usually no warning that the services will not be available. In fact, many houses in Venezuela are built with reservoirs and tanks to store water. One house we lived in didn't even receive water from the city any more, I think the pipes were damaged beyond repair. We had water trucked in every week to fill our reservoir. One time Miguel forgot to call the truck and then he couldn't get the truck to come at all for a few days! He even went out looking for any water truck he could find, but no luck. We were down to the last tiny bit of water when we were finally able to fill our reservoir, but by then we were getting rather rank from not being able to bathe!

Anyway, so after my initial reaction this morning, I looked around to see what I could do to keep a good water supply for today...there are no reservoirs in this house! I got creative...I filled both tubs about half-way with water for toilet flushing and filled every empty pitcher, jar, and container in the kitchen with water for drinking water or whatever. I think I'm getting spoiled with all of this luxury here and I need to start shifting back into "missionary mode" as we look forward to going back to the field later this year!